You Say You Wanna Resolution?

Many people enjoy making New Year's resolutions, but I think far fewer actually keep them.

Here's some help for those of you who are really determined this year:

• http://www.wikihow.com/Form-a-Good-Habit This site gives some practical advice on forming good habits.


• http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/gallery/0,21863,1541498,00.html This is a great article on breaking bad habits, specifically 11 bad habits like nail-biting, procrastination, whining, gossiping, always running late, disorganization, and more. It's great, and I'm already using the tip for breaking my habit of slouching.


• http://healthymonday.org/ This site is a national non-profit health organization that offers weekly tips to make yourself more healthy. When the website opens, click on the "thumbs up" image to get into the main site. For some of us, these little tips can really make a difference.

I'm thinking of a new project as my New Year's Resolution. It's called Project 365, and basically, it's a photojournal of an entire year. In Creating Keepsakes, a scrapbooking magazine I enjoy, there is a sample of the project, which I found very interesting. Keeping one photo for each day of the year, along with a paragraph of explanation, would add up to a great way to remember a year in your life. Along the way there would be great memories of perhaps days on vacation or special celebrations, but there would also be a record of some of life's more mundane things that you might easily forget. Either way, at the end you would a unique photo album. I haven't totally commited to this yet, but I think I want to try this out, as a twist on the more common "resolutions."

For those who wonder. . . . .

Today I recieved an email from a contact at one of the churches that hosted me sometime in the last year.

I'm using it as a dicussion starter for today's blog post. I realize that some of the people who read this blog are all over the world and in almost 20 States in this country. Although some of you may not have heard my latest news, the word is spreading, as is evidenced by this email:

I had heard that you have left the mission field. I am writing to ask if you had returned to Israel and your reason for leaving the mission field? If you do not wish to share this information with me, I understand. Just know that you are still in my prayers. God Bless.

It's not the only feedback I've had lately. I've been messaged on facebook, called by friends, and had my immediate family approached by other people who are concerned about me.

I resigned from AGWM in November. It was my choice to resign, but it was the Spirit who lead me to make that decision. While people often question the "real" reason that I resigned, there is only ONE reason--that the Lord said it was time to do so.

For the past few months I had been feeling that God was going to take me in a different direction. It bothered me for weeks. I went through a struggle of not being sure it was truly God's voice I was hearing. I didn't want to mistake my own thoughts for God's; neither did I want to be tempted away from God's will by the Enemy. I fasted; I prayed. I tested and questioned the feeling I had for a long time. To my own shame, I admit that, for a while, I was too afraid of other people's reactions to talk to anyone about this matter. I regret now that I didn't have enough faith in the people of God, because I really needed counsel. I was able to talk to my immediate family and my pastor, but other than that, I was afraid.

I went to Phoenix for a conference on women in ministry, and I was desperate to hear from God. I'd been very troubled during the week leading up the conference, and I confessed to my Pastor the day I left for Arizona that I was determined to come home from Phoenix with an answer one way or another.

There is a great worship song called, He knows My Name, and it's one of my favorites. God is a personal God, who collects our tears and numbers the hairs of our head, according to the Psalms. When I was in Phoenix, God knew what I needed, starting with a big slap upside the head. The very first speaker at the conferene challenged us to move on to the new thing God was promising us, to stop cowering in fear of other people's expectations, and to step out in faith to see the fulfillment of His plan for us. I felt so convicted, it was as if she was speaking directly to me. Throughout the rest of the weekend, God was working in my heart. On Friday, October 31, as the rest of the nation begged candy in costumes, I was at an altar with 300 women crying out to God, and God answered. I knew that the time had come for me to resign from my missionary career because God was calling me to something new, something different, something that would make me grow further into His ultimate design for me.

I use the word resign purposefully. I have not, nor will I ever, quit. I haven't quit loving the lost, whether they live in Palestine, Israel, or Anne Arundel County. I haven't quit doing the work of the Lord. I haven't quit the ministry or the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I haven't quit Jesus or my belief in His Gospel. I have merely changed geographic location.

There's no scandal, no deeper story. There's no failure on God's part--He provided the support I needed to go back on the field, and He opened doors for me during my entire itineration. With the exception of my foolish fears, I haven't failed either. I served faithfully in missions for twelve years, nine of them on the foreign field. I never lost my faith, my sanity, or my passport.

I appreciate the prayers of my family--those related by blood and those of the bond in Christ. I still need the Lord to complete the work He's doing in my life. I don't have all the answers, but that's okay. Walking in faith, not by sight, is the only exercise I'm getting these days!

Happy Holidays

I know that this blog hasn't been updated in well over a week, but the holidays are keeping me busy, as I'm sure you understand.

Today I'm headed to Upper Marlboro to see extended family up from Down South. The merriment of the holiday season continues . . . .

Keep checking in, and I'll have something worth reading tomorrow!

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Every year at Christmas, the Toys R Us marketing crew re-releases their iconic "I don't wanna grow up; I'm a Toys R Us kid" commercial, just in time for all the holiday shopping. I can remember when the original commercial came out with its catchy lyrics, and I suppose that's part of the marketing campaign. Most people my age have small children of their own now to shop for.

The concept of eternal youth is one that has been around for centuries, probably even longer than that. At some point, even Adam and Eve realized they had wrinkles, gray hair, and age spots. The futile search for youth spurred explorers like Ponce De Leon to the New World, to Florida specifically (where apparently the elderly are still searching). The British author JM Barrie captured the hearts of young and old alike with his classic tale of Peter Pan who gave up the reality of love and family to remain young forever in a fantasy world.

I've been thinking about this a little more in the past few weeks, because my grandmother has developed a habit of warning me, "When you're 80 years old," with a string of rotating predictions, none of which are enjoyable to contemplate. According to her, I'll be bald, deaf, riddled with arthritis, forgetful, and grouchy--well, that last one might just be her. Every time she starts her warning phrase, I have the overwhelming urge to deny any of that will ever happen to me. Sometimes I argue with her, "When I'm 80, I'll buy hearing aids. I'll use the medicine the doctor gives me. I won't annoy my grandchildren with all my bellyaching!"

But, old age has curses beyond just physical ailments. My grandmother has outlived her parents, her husband, and all but one sister, and Christmas often brings up a painful melancholy. When I drive her around town doing errands on Friday mornings, she talks about how she sits in her empty house making lists of all the dead people she remembers this Christmas. She bemoans how bad the holidays will be now that all of these people have gone, without seeming to appreciate her daughter, grandchildren, or the three great-grandchildren that have brought so much joy to the rest of us.

I try to sympathize with her lonely situation, but I can't help but think if this is the "merry" Christmas that she spreads to everyone else, I don't want to get any older.

My Eyes are Crossing

I'm deep into this Ministry Manual project that I'm working on for my church. I spend hours every day reading and re-reading the current policies of the church, fixing typos and eliminating redundant or poorly written sections. I delete sections that don't apply to our current situation, and I write in new sections that need to be added. After a while, my brain gets sort of fried and my eyes get tired of the computer screen, so I try to give myself breaks to get a drink or chat with Debra in the main office for a minute or two.

Today I'm starting to worry about myself. I'm working on a section that I am positive I rewrote two weeks ago. I keep finding more paragraphs that I'm certain I rephrased and retitled, but there is no record in my computer of me having done it. I guess it could be a deja-vu moment, but it's startling clear in my mind--even having used the "find and replace" tool on one section. But today that whole section is the same as it was the first time I looked at it. Weird.

Maybe I just dreamed having made all those changes.

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

You know where the Christmas season is the most obvious? The post office!

In the past few weeks, I've had the occasion to visit three different post offices, in the course of my personal errands, only to find long lines at each one. I've become accustomed to using the automated "self-service" machines for packages and other quick needs. In fact, I'm so used to them that when I walked into a smaller, older post office today and found that they didn't have one, I debated whether I should just walk back out and find a better post office.

There were only five people waiting, so I decided to stick it out in line, even though I only wanted holiday stamps. All of the people in front of me bore packages of varying sizes and decor. Some were Christmas wrapped; others were old boxes from amazon.com with marker scribbled over all the old bar codes and shipping labels. One man was with his pre-teen son, who was clearly bored and unable to stand in line for more than a few minutes. He darted around looking at the demonstration models of boxes and envelopes, then perused the stamps on display in glass cases.

Finally, the man was called to the next teller, and I saw why the son was there. Over in a corner was a five-foot high mound of brown-paper wrapped boxes; between the two of them making a couple of trips each, they got it all over to the counter. The teller weighed and stamped each one before handing the man a receipt that could have rivaled Santa's "nice and naughty list" for length.

Just as I was next up in line, the available teller hollered out over what had become a large crowd, "Anyone buying just stamps?"

"Yeah, me!" I yelled back, making everyone in line laugh, since I was next up anyway. It only took a few minutes to pick out and purchase my holiday-themed stamps, and then I was headed out, past about fourteen people with their arms loaded with boxes. They stretched around the line dividers and out the door into the lobby of the building, and in the parking lot more cars were pulling in.

Ahh, the Christmas season.

Christmas Music

I love this time of year. One of the best parts is the music. In every store and in many homes, there is Christmas music playing in the background. There are silly songs about getting "Nuttin for Christmas" and grandparents being run over by reindeer; there are songs of breath-taking beauty like "O Holy Night" and "The Carol of the Bells." There are local favorites about eating crabs at Christmas, and there are the classic party favorites like "Jingle Bell Rock." There are pretty religious songs and rowdy secular songs.

What's your favorite Christmas song?

God Heals

In the Bible, people gave praise to the Lord by dancing, clapping, raising their hands, shouting, and making sacrifices. In today's modern, techological era, I'm praising God by blogging and Facebook twitter.

I'm thanking God that my father is recovering from his kidney failure. We'll probably get further news tomorrow at the dialysis report, but today my father saw his doctor and found his kidney numbers had decreased drastically!

He's been feeling more and more healthy, a sign we felt sure indicated that he was healing. He's had more strength lately and even looks healthy again. I know that God is at work in his body, and I give God the praise now for the final report I believe is coming soon!

Reduce - Reuse - Recycle

December 4 – When I was a child, my mother always bought us advent calendars, which covered the traditional 25 days of “advent.” In most children’s advent calendars, little windows open with cute pictures hidden behind, and something there is a little piece of chocolate or treats of that nature. Obviously, a calendar like that would build any child’s excitement and anticipation of the Christmas season.

A friend of mine from France recently sent me an email including a link to an online advent calendar –something that could be bookmarked as “favorite” site. The advent calendar online is not for children; it is based on a theme of ecology and wise stewardship of our earth that God has given us. It is scripture based and extremely practical.I realize that not everyone has jumped on the bandwagon of ecological conscience, but it is growing in popularity in our culture. For those of you who are interested in 25 practical ways to protect our environment, I’m adding the link here.

Thought for the Day

I'm reading a great book called Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years and yours by Alicia Britt Chole (soon to be reviewed on my book review page), but I'm swept away by her writing. She makes utterly profound statements in a simple way.

Today, I contemplating this:

"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17)

". . . the first time Jesus heard these words thundered from the heavens, God spoke them before Jesus had ever done anything for which we call him Savior.

God sounded his affirmation from above over Jesus' life before Jesus ever preached one sermon or enlightened one mind, before Jesus ever healed one body or saved one soul.

These loving words were spoken over Jesus before the timeless teachings, the dramatic deliverances, and the many miracles. They were spoken over his hidden years. God declared his full acceptance and pride over what Jesus had become through his anonymous season. In unseen places, over underestimated years, Jesus had been making unrecorded, unapplauded choices that had prepared him for everything to come. And Father God--who values the seen and unseen alike--was very, very pleased.

. . .God is still shouting these words of love over his children even before we are recognized or celebrated, before we make the grade or make the news or even make dinner. Before we get that promotion or even get out of bed, Father God is already shouting. Not because of any stunning accomplishment but because of who we are: through Jesus, we are his!"

Pretty good, right?

The Song in my Head

For the past few days, I've been singing, "All Who Are Thirsty," from my Wow Worship cd. I looked it up online and found it here

Now you can have it in your head, too. Great song!

Trust

I have oftened marveled at people who do not know or trust Christ. I wonder how they live, how they handle stress and difficulty; mostly I wonder where they place their trust. I made a list the other day of all the possible areas in which someone might stake their confidence:

• in their job or career
• in their marriage
• in their family members
• in their bank account
• in their home
• in their political party

It came to me very dramatically that part of the "crisis" that our nation is facing is not just the collapse of the stock market or the downtrend of our economy, but it is the crumbling away of what people thought was rock solid. Part of the misery of people all around us is that they placed their trust in things that failed. Just look at the divorce rates that continue to rise each year; in our society, love is not even trustworthy.

We often use the word "lost" to describe those who haven't found the peace of Jesus Christ. and it's true: they are "lost" without the Rock that never fails, never collapses, never forecloses, lays off, walks out, or disappoints.

It's not a new problem. It may look different in the 21st century, but even David thought about this problem, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." (Ps. 20:7) Nowadays, it might be car insurance commericials that throw the word
"trust" around like so much confetti, but it is only Christ that is worthy of our trust.

Here a meeting, There a meeting, Everywhere a meeting, meeting

My niece Olivia loves to sing "Old McDonald had a Farm" with unending verses of animals and all the energetic sounds they make. Today I was looking at my schedule for the week and it's full of meetings. I've had one already this morning and more to come throughout the week. I like the productive feeling I have at the end of the meetings. I like the progress I see in each step of the project I'm doing for the church, and it seems that the ministries of the church will benefit from the profound analysis we're doing in these meetings.