Bowling

Saturday night I spent with the Severn River Church crowd having a fun night of bowling. My nieces were very excited; they had a blast, as you can see:

Ellie couldn't really bowl, but she enjoyed the eats at the bowling alley.

Roll the ball, Sydney! Roll!

Wow! Look how many pins I knocked down!

(Click on any picture to view larger)

Practice Makes Perfect

Jan (Ignacy) Paderewski (1860-1941) a Polish pianist, composer, and eventual Prime Minister of Poland, once said of his musical skills:

"If I miss one day of practice, I notice it. If I miss two days, the critics notice it. If I miss three days, the audience notices it."

I think the same could be said of our prayer life.

Anonymous: Jesus’s Hidden Years and Yours

Have you ever thought about the fact that 90% of Jesus’ life was spent in utter obscurity? The gospels record the details of only a few precious years of His life, but there were approximately 30 years that unobserved, unnoted, and certainly unsung. In her book, Anonymous, Alicia Britt Chole uses the anonymity of Jesus’ experience in the desert to illustrate the difficult process of growth in a barren place.

“People generally do not stand in line for a tour of our hidden years, which can be rather disheartening if we are in the habit of determining the value of our life’s seasons by ticket sales. Though unpopular, these hidden places are not unproductive; within them God houses the unglamorous guts of a truly fruitful existence. There in the poorly lit crawl spaces of life (transitions, prolonged waiting, new additions to the family, preparatory education, relocation, retirement, unexplainable loss, extended illness, irresolvable conflict, and all else that tends to hide us) God builds within us a sturdy support system for our souls.”

In His desert experience, Jesus faced three major temptations – the temptations of appetite, applause, and authority. Jesus could easily have succumbed to Satan’s suggestions, weakened as He was, but the decisions He had made in his previous 30 years led Him to make the right decisions when the moment really counted. Anonymous years seem so unvalued, but the lessons learned in them determine our future.

I could go on and on about this book, but here’s the greatest compliment I can give: this is the best book I have read in years. I am recommending this book to everyone I know, because not only are the spiritual insights worth the read, but Chole is a master writer. She slides deep truth into simple sentences. Although I love to read (and read very quickly), I took four months to read this book, so that I could truly apply what I was learning. When I bought the book, I wasn’t even in an “anonymous” situation, but over the past few months, I found the book to be more and more appropriate to my own life. You will not be sorry to invest in this book.

Ethan Allen Faith in an Ikea World

I had a conversation with my brother recently, while moving furniture, that Ethan Allen furniture is really great stuff. It's built to last forever, and it's worth the high price. Unfortunately, most people can't afford to decorate their entire home in one fell swoop from expensive furniture stores, so half of their furniture is hand-me-downs, a few pieces are high quality, and a few pieces are from places like Ikea. You can only afford to do so much at one time, and when you first move into a new home, you need things immediately--beds to sleep in, tables to eat on. You get what you need at the moment. The problem is that you get what you pay for; buying furniture from Ikea means you'll have to replace it in about three years.

In the past few months, I've dealt with a few things spiritually that have been difficult for me. I was praying this weekend about it, and I questioned God about these particular trials. I was reminded of my furniture conversation.

My faith has become more solid in the past few months than it would have been before. It's Ethan Allen faith now--built to last a lifetime and beyond. It won't fall apart under weighty pressure; it won't crack or crumble. Ethan Allen faith is so solid, it takes major effort to move it even a few inches away from it's position, and it's very costly--more than you might be willing to pay, actually, so it's tempting to settle for something cheaper, quicker, and in the end, much weaker. True and solid faith, like Ethan Allen furniture, is always the better investment.

Prov. 24:10, If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!

Women in Ministry Retreat

This weekend I took a break from the Internet by going to our district campground for a retreat for women in ministry. Typically, there aren't many women who attend--around 30 or 40--so we are able to enjoy a more intimate retreat, with a lot of time for fellowship and connection with other women. I came home with good ideas from other churches, and some unique ideas of my own. You can count on reading more about that throughout this week.

I'm about to head out to run some errands, including returning a library book that I thought would be worth a mention. What Have You Changed Your Mind About? is a compilation of essays written by some of the nation's most high-powered thinkers. The essays were in response to the title question, posed on Edge.org, a website dedicated to "intellectuals in action."

I picked up the book, thinking that it would be a thought-provoking read. Just the title alone grabbed my attention, causing me to question what I had changed my mind about over the years. By mind-changing, I don't mean simple things like, "I now prefer baking soda toothpaste," but a true reversal of a value or a belief I once held.

I couldn't really say that I had changed my mind about any of my spiritual beliefs, although I have changed my mind about techniques and systems that promote those beliefs. I haven't changed my moral views, although my greater experiences in life continually cause me to expand my grace rather than my judgment about morality.

After a great deal of thought, I realized that I have changed my mind about my responsibility for recycling. I used to figure it was something for "someone" to do, but not necessarily me. Living in Europe, in a society more dedicated to personal ecological responsibility, I began to commit more to recycling and a lower carbon footprint.

I challenge you: what have you changed your mind about?

Card Carrying Members

I like that Severn River Church has little business cards made up with the church information on them. They contain the meeting time and location, complete with a little map. On the front they have a picture of a welcome mat; others have toast with the caption, “Burned out?” I carry the welcome ones in my wallet, because on occasion a conversation with someone will introduce the idea of church or religion or something I can use to mention the church. A card like that is a powerful visual aid and serves as a personal invitation.

In recent weeks—exactly one month, really—I have had two such conversations. One was during Valentines week, when I helped out as day labor at my sister’s employer, A Blooming Basket. They had several thousand roses in stock for Valentine’s Day and needed day help cleaning the roses. I scraped thorns off and put little green plastic sleeves on the necks of the roses to keep them firm. It was monotonous and hard on the hands, but everyone kept cheerful conversations going in the chilled workroom. The lady I worked with the most shared, unexpectedly one day, that she was backslidden. She was raised in an Assembly of God church and had given up her faith years before. Now, she was contemplating finding a local church; did I know one? I was shocked that she would confide these details (and many more to this story), and I wished then that I had a card with me for the church. Instead the best I could do was to tell her audibly, but I knew that was weak. What if she forgot? After that conversation I got ten cards in my wallet the very next Sunday.

Last week, my sister and I were doing some volunteer labor at my home church, and on our dinner break, we popped into Quizzno’s. We sat with Olivia, her daughter, and ate our subs in peace; the place was dead. A young couple came in and contemplated the menu, and “The Locomotion” came on the stereo. My sister and I were joking with Olivia, trying to get her to dance, and the young couple smiled over at us. Immediately the man came to the table, right across from me.

“Is your name Ariel? Do you remember me?”

“Bobby! Of course, I remember you!”

A guy I hadn’t seen since high school stood there, looking slightly more paunchy, slightly balder, and a lot friendlier than he did when he was a teen. I know I looked twenty years older, more paunchy, and a lot less judgmental than I was at fifteen when he was a troubled kid in a difficult situation. His father died recently, and I had heard about that, so I expressed my regrets. He mentioned that he had heard at the funeral that my brother was a pastor now. I verified it; he mentioned that he lived nearby, and after that brief exchange, he and his wife picked up their order and sat down across the restaurant to eat. My sister reminded me of the welcome cards, and got one from her wallet. Just before we left, I went over and gave the card to Bobby.

“I happen to have a card for my brother’s church, and I know he would be glad to see you again. The information is on the back. It was good seeing you, Bobby.”

At best, Bobby went home and thought about it, or maybe talked to his wife about it. At worst, he stuck it in his jacket pocket until one day when he’ll clean out the gum wrappers, old receipts, and find that card. It will be another reminder, one that might even work the second time.

That’s why I carry the cards.

Worth Order

On Saturday, my brother was worried about getting sick and asked me to be prepared to preach for him on Sunday morning. The Lord was with him, though, and he was able to do the service himself, while I attended a special service at my home church.

I did prepare, however, what I would have shared. My brother has been doing a series on The Family of God, which I find interesting because the majority of my family attends Severn River Church. Both of my siblings, their spouses, and all of my nieces go to SRC, and since I’ve begun attending there, the “family” sense of the church has taken on a whole new meaning to me.
In my family, we make a lot of jokes about birth order. I have long maintained that some of my irritating traits (i.e. being bossy) are mostly a result of being the oldest and learning to take charge at a young age. We all watch my oldest niece do the exact same thing—bossing Livvy and Ellie around, directing them into playing games her way. My brother and sister have certain traits that psychologists attribute to birth order. I don’t put all my faith in that type of information, but I believe that some of it could be true. Scientists and educators have battled for years in the nature vs. nurture debate, that circumstances may affect our personalities more than just our pre-programmed DNA. Birth order would certainly be a circumstance that teaches by experience.

Recently I’ve been doing a study of I Samuel, and I’ve found a pattern in the comparison of David and Saul, that I’ve termed, “Worth Order.” Here is the basic version:

The people of Israel, tired of the leadership of the judges, demand a king. Samuel, the last judge (and one of the few righteous) counsels against it, but their insistence wears him down. God directs Samuel to Saul, a tall young man with a lot of insecurity. From the moment that Saul is introduced we see his insecurity: not telling his family that Samuel anointed him king (I Sam. 10:16), hiding in the baggage at his own inauguration (I Sam. 10:22), and when the soldiers were scattering away from his command, Saul can’t take their outward confirmation of his inward fear—that he is too weak to handle the job (I Sam. 13:8). He is so insecure about his ability to lead (or God’s ability to choose) that he eventually is driven literally insane by his jealousies of David, whom the villagers claim has slain ten times more enemies in battle.

The first lesson of Worth Order: God’s favor is worth more than man’s fear. Even though God had given Samuel specific direction to anoint Saul king, and even though Saul had witnessed the confirmation, been filled with the Spirit and began to prophesy, even though God gave Saul victories in early battles against their enemies, Saul still wasn’t convinced that God would come through in every situation. His fear of his own inability and of God’s unreliability leads to his downfall; God removes His favor and Saul learns that he will lose the kingdom.

In I Samuel 15, the story unfolds of another failure. Again facing a battle, Samuel gives Saul the words of the Lord: spare no one. But Saul and his men do spare the king, the best animals, and the plunder of the battle. Not even when Saul is caught red-handed by Samuel does he admit fault. Instead he claims that he was merely saving the plunder to dedicate to God, sacrificing the animals in acts of repentance and worship. This story always reminds me of the modern proverb, “It’s better to get forgiveness than permission.” People who know that they won’t get permission, act anyway, and then by their apology make restitution. Unfortunately, Samuel gives Saul the second lesson of Worth Order: obedience first is worth more than a sacrifice afterward (I Sam. 15:22). God gives Saul an object lesson, so there is no mistake; regardless of Saul's apology after, the kingdom has already been torn from him.

God gives the kingdom instead to His next chosen leader: David. Samuel is instructed to go to Jesse's home and anoint the next king, and a parade of Jesse's sons walk by as Samuel tries to figure out which one would be the best king. God reveals to Samuel the next lesson in Worth Order: a man's heart is worth more than the hype that surrounds him (I Sam. 16:7) .

There are a lot of leaders that have charisma, energy, brilliance, or a clever presentation; it doesn't mean that their hearts are pure. Like Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man, they can spin your mind--"Trouble! Right here in River City!"--but in the end, you will be deceived. God is the only one who can see and judge each person's heart, rather than his appearance. David had the heart to follow after God; even when he later sinned, his heart was broken before the Lord, and he expressed that brokeness to God in some of the most beautiful and poignant verses in the Bible.

When we see the chapters that contrast Saul and David, we see that Saul may have been taller in inches, but he was shorter in heart.

What are the Chances?

I'm intrigued by the social website www.meetup.com. I first read about sites like that one in France, where I was a solitary person trying to find a social group where I could find friends who shared common interests. Since I've moved back to Maryland, I've used this site often to search for (and find) others in my area who want to connect for scrapbooking, or speaking French, et cetera. When I started "The Right Fit" group on Monday nights at my church, I listed in on the website as a weight-loss support group, for those in the area that might want to join. I'd like to see more people from the community--not just church folks.

In the past several weeks, there have been a handful of people who have indicated that they would like to join. Eagerly, I look for them each week, but none of them showed up until last night. A lady named Joy came, and while we were all welcoming her, I thought she looked really familiar.

"Do we know each other?" I asked her.

With her brow a little furrowed, she said she didn't think so.

"What's your last name?" And that's when it clicked. As soon as she said her last name, I realized that we worked together in Jerusalem ten years ago. Her husband was a local man from the Old City, and she was a southern American who had married him and was raising her family there. As a born-again believer herself, she applied to teach in the elementary school, while I taught in the junior high and high school.

After all these years, and half a world of geography, Joy and I now live in the same town, and she's even been attending my church for a few weeks, although I hadn't seen her. Her daughter is dating one of my former students, and we played the game of "who-do-you-keep-up-with?" trading information on our former co-workers and what's been going on since we were last in Jerusalem.

The world is so small, it amazes me sometimes.

Courage!

I have a good friend who lost her job just after I resigned mine. We've spoken on the phone recently, since in many ways, we are going through the same process of beginning a new season in our lives. Her situation is different, though, in that she didn't choose to change jobs--it was forced on her, and in a very public way. She still has to see all of her former clients all the time, with all them knowing what happened to her. It would be very easy for her to give up in humiliation, slink off to some other town or state, and settle for less than God's destiny for her life. But she has chosen to get back up again, after being knocked flat, to continue on in God's promise for her life and ministry. I'm proud of her!

Courage is hard thing to wish for. Like patience, courage only comes from difficult circumstances that force you to act, even when your heart may be quaking and crying inside. Like the cowardly lion of The Wizard of Oz, wishing for courage doesn't make it appear automatically; it will probably be a scary moment, face to face with the Wicked Witch, one second away from certain death, that will produce courage.

Reading some notes by a friend (www.sammasteller.com) from a Christ for the Nations conference he attended, I found this wisdom:

COURAGE ESTABLISHES LEADERSHIP

As a leader, you have no idea what hangs in the balance of your decision to act courageously. The leader isn’t necessarily the first to identify an opportunity. The leader is the one who has the courage to seize it, initiate, to set things in motion, to move ahead.

A. DAVID’S leadership was established in an environment of uncertainty and fear. (1 Samuel 17:10-11) "Whenever there is fear, there is opportunity. Whenever there is great fear, there is great opportunity.”

B. David’s leadership was established through his courage, not his talent or his calling. Goliath's slaying did not make David a leader, but it marked him as one. The incident in the valley of Elah didn’t equip David to lead, but it certainly equated.

C. David was courageous, but he was not careless. There is a difference between acting courageously & carelessly. That difference is preparation. (1 Samuel 17:40)

D. David’s courage empowered others to act courageously. When David killed Goliath, there was an immediate reversal of momentum on the battlefield. (1 Samuel 17:51-52)-David, through one act of bravery, gave an entire army something they severely lacked: courage to engage the enemy.

Whether you are going through a hard time in life, like my good friend, or have a big decision to make, or are developing leadership in general, there is a lot to learn about courage and the way that God honors our courageous faith.

Motivation

It is a standing joke that some members of my family are procrastinators. For Christmas I found a joke gift for my brother, a "To Don't" list, complete with categories like "to pass off," "to ignore," and my favorite, "to sabotage."

While we all had a good laugh (at the gift and the fact that my brother modeled his gift's red bow), the fact is that my brother is very organized. He is a visionary with very specific goals for the future.

I am goal-setter, too, always have been. I like the clarity of sitting down with a fresh list of things to do, how to accomplish a specific task, or maybe even all the things that need to change in order for me to facilitate my goals. Those lists and charts (I love Microsoft Excel!) help me feel more motivated to achieve my objectives.

I need all the motivation I can get some days.

Congratulations, Michelle!

This week has been a busy one. I spent all day Monday on the phone dealing with my health insurance, and yesterday I spent filling out paperwork for a job application that was very intensive. I was trying to fax it today, but it wouldn't go through correctly, and I finally had to go to the church to fax it from there. I arrived a little while after the mail had come, and our church secretary Debra had sorted it on a side table. I figured I would leaf through one of the magazines, The Potomac Connection, while my fax was going through.

I was surprised to see a testimony printed in the back by my friend Michelle Keller, about the blessing of her son Joshua. She praised God for His answer to prayer for another child--11 years after her son Jacob. I have heard Mark and Michelle testify many times, and their thanksgiving to the Lord is neverending. I'm very proud of Michelle for writing this testimony in to the magazine, which serves as a communication for ministers and churches throughout the Potomac District (MD, VA, WV). It is a honor to have it shared with so many people, but the real honor is God's, who so wonderfully answered the desire of Michelle's heart.

All the Way to the Bottom

We got coupons for Friendly's in the mail last week, and they were such a good bargain that we ended up taking my grandmother there two weeks in a row. Everyone's happy--from the youngest kid to the great-grandmother at the same table.

At Friendly's many dinners come with a free sundae: two scoops and one topping, plus the whipped cream and cherry. Very tempting! The waitress brings out the sundaes with special long spoons, designed to fit all the way to the bottom of the narrow glass, so you can get every last drop of that ice cream.

The French philosopher Blaise Pascal is attributed with the concept of a "God-shaped hole" in the soul of every person-- it other words, a profound need for God that is so deeply wired within us that nothing else will satisfy it.

"What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself. "

What does all this have to do with sundaes? I was thinking about the last spoonful of fudge down in the bottom of my dish last week, and about all the short spoons in the world that would never reach that fudge. Only a long spoon was able to reach that depth, and I finally got that last tasty bit. So many people try to compensate for their need for God, like kids grabbing up short spoons, only to be frustrated that they can never reach the bottom. They can't satisfy that need for God with other people, with their careers, their money or their self-reliance.

God created that need within us, and He is the only one with the spoon long enough to find the best part of us.

Roots and Spring

For the past few days, I have enjoyed the warm breezes that indicate spring is just around the corner. Everyone digs out their short-sleeved shirts and sandals as if they are headed for vacation; the same sense of excitement and anticipation is in the air. Spring is certainly worthy of the attention we give it: a feeling of freshness, new beginnings, and life itself is defined in every bud on the trees and in every crocus pushing its way up through the earth.

I appreciate the look of flowers and manicured landscapes, but I have never been any kind of gardener. I like to see the daffodils come back each year in my mother's yard. We used to have tiger lilies, too, that you could depend on each summer, all along the steps to the driveway. It's a miracle to me that a root can lie dormant for months (even years!) and then suddenly burst forth into a new bloom.

I was thinking this morning about bitterness. I haven't been much of a grudge-holder in my life. Close friends and family would say that I am too good at expressing my frustration to bury it deep inside; and it's true that when it comes to anger, I'm not one to let the sun go down on my wrath. But what about pain? hurt feelings? being disappointed by someone?

Yesterday my brother preached on conflict in the church, and he said that too often we bury the hurt feelings instead of dealing with the situation. I suppose I have assumed that bitterness only came in one form--anger--and that bitterness would be like a blazing furnace rather than a cold, dormant root deep in frozen soil.

But Hebrews 12:15 clearly uses the word "root" to describe bitterness. Something happens to us that's so deep, so unarticulated, that it gets covered over and lies cold until something else adds a little heat and it blooms forth again, like perennials in the yard. Unfortunately, in the case of bitterness, the "flower" isn't attractive and welcome, it's ugly and dangerous.

The beginning of the verse contains the key: the grace of God. The only thing capable of completely destroying bitterness, root and all, is God's grace. As a wounded person, I conquer bitterness by extending God's grace to my offender. God extends His grace to me and restores me into a fulness of fellowship with Him as well, with nothing keeping me from experiencing every benefit of our relationship. And unlike an old, cold root, God's grace never stops blooming.

Snow Days

Ahh! The perfect amount of snow for sledding and fun!