Rainey Days

What's going on in my life

2011-04-11T17:25:00.002-04:00

I miss writing this blog, but for various reasons, I've gotten away from it. I'd like to continue, even if no one out there even checks it anymore.

To start out, I figured I'd provide a "status update" of what's going on in my life these days:

I live in my own home, a condo which I love. I have a roommate, which is not a bad thing. I’m thankful for Bethany, and I believe that God provided her to me. I’m helping her out by giving her a room and bathroom of her own, and she’s helping me out—her rent matches almost exactly what Severn River Church was paying me.

My family brings me joy, although I wish that my father were in better health. I really wish that he were completely healed, but he isn’t languishing at death’s door. Like Job, he has never cursed God in all this physical trial. My nieces and nephews are a light in my sometimes dark moments, and I love spending time with them. My siblings are the pillars I lean on, and my parents are the love that formed me and still keeps me grounded in reality.

I work for the Y, and no, I’m not completely fulfilled. It’s a job, and I know how to do it well. I have good people I work with, most of whom are people of God. I’m thankful to the executives for the leadership program that I was selected for (an intensive 6 month leadership cohort for only 20 employees out of 1600). I’ve been using it to help me grow in my skills as a minister. I know that it’s making me confront issues that I need to confront in order to become the leader that God has called me to be. I hope to find a full-time ministry position, but times are hard, even in churches. For now, I’m thankful that God provided a way to pay my bills and keep my home. I have not “left” ministry, and I look forward to the chance to take on another church in need of outreach. I have great ideas stored up for the day that God opens the next door.

I don’t have a home church right now. In the past three years, I lost two home churches. One closed, and the other rejected me. At least that’s how it felt. I’m realizing lately how many people love me there, and how many of them never rejected me. It wasn’t fair that I left them with no explanation, but I didn’t really have a way to explain what happened. Without a church, my calendar is strangely empty; there are no social events, no parties with groups of friends that I do stuff with. There are no outreach events, especially ones that I am in responsible for, like I used to have. I lost a whole chunk of my life outside of work, and nothing has replaced it.

I’ve been depressed lately, but didn’t want to admit it out loud. I’ve just carried the secret deep inside of me, carefully guarding it, like I guard my tears late at night or in my car alone on the way to work every day. The funny thing is that I don’t think I’ve fooled anyone. My closest friends and family know without me admitting it or not. In fact, seeing their worry and hesitancy to talk about anything serious with me, adds another level of pain. I don’t want them to be worried, and I’d much rather they talk to me than about me. It’s like they are afraid of my anger or my pain, and while I know that they might not find it easy or pleasant to talk me for real, I need them to do that.

So, how do I feel about all this? Here's what I know: I am not what happens to me. I lead because of who I am, I make decisions based on who I am, not what has happened to me. I share these experiences with everyone who has led me to this place, with those who prayed me out, who followed me and hoped and believed in me. I also share those experiences with those who failed to believe in me, credited false motives to me, or believed the worst. I just don’t give them a voice anymore.

Before I was ever a pastor at Severn River Church, God loved me. In fact, He loved me before I was saved, filled with the Spirit, or called into ministry. He loved me regardless of my sermons, my years on the missionfield, my abilities, gifts, or personality. He loved me before I even knew Him, and He loves me still. He loves me today, when I struggle with where I am in life, compared to where I wish I was. He loves me whether I'm laughing or crying. He loves me, and nothing in my past, present, or future can separate me from His love or His purpose for my life.

That's what is happening with me lately; what's new with you?

Sin's Prison

2010-10-12T14:27:00.004-04:00

Today I decided to spend my lunch break sitting on a picnic table on the playground where I work. I'm so blessed to have a spot like that where I can enjoy the weather while the warm temperatures last. At 1:30, I took my Coke Zero from the freezer where I keep on the point of icing over, grabbed some stuff I was working on, and headed out the door.

The sunshine was perfect, not too hot, nor too bright for me to read my papers. I was concentrating on my work when I heard a bee buzz past my ears. I cringed, and the bee flew past my shoulders into the soda can. At first I was aggravated--the soda can was practically full and now I couldn't drink it at all! I waited a moment to see if it would fly back out, but it didn't. I noticed that the bee was clearly circling inside the can, because I could hear a faint whistle of air movement magnified in the can, making an almost musical sound. I forgot my work and started to observe. The bee flew around and around the can. Occasionally the whistle noise would stop, and I figured the bee either grasped the pop-top on the inside of the can for a little rest, or maybe dropped from fatigue into the soda. I kept waiting for the bee to emerge.

Finally about 10 minutes later, I heard the whistle stop again, followed by a rush of wings past my face. I froze in place, sure that the bee would be angry. It flew around wildly, darting in and out of the picnic table legs, with the joy of someone finally freed from prison.

About one minute later, it dropped back on the soda can, and crawled back in.

I thought to myself, "You stupid bee. You just got out after all that work, and now look, you're right back in trouble." I thought of Paul's explanation of the sin nature in Romans 7, "If the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me, and gets the better of me every time."

All of my judgment against the bee, doing what was in his nature, faded in the light of my own weakness. Like Paul, I struggle against finding myself back in the same sinful situation I just struggled my way out of. Without Christ to set me free, I would circle the soda can until I died, just like the bee eventually did, drowned in the syrupy stickiness of his own foolishness.

A Day to Remember

2010-01-26T08:07:00.002-05:00

This morning, as I sat in my office as the new Preschool Director at the Towson Y, I could hear the usual sounds of children arriving with their parents. Hats, jackets, lunches--everything gets dropped off while the parents give the teachers a few parting instructions and the kids find their friends.

This morning, I heard a little boy pause as he entered his room. His little round face turned up to his mom as he asked sweetly, "Will today be a day that I always remember?"

That's the beauty of life, and it doesn't change from childhood to maturity; we never know the moments that will change our life.

A Successful Outreach/Fundraiser

2009-12-23T15:41:00.003-05:00

In all the hustle-bustle of the Christmas season, perhaps nowhere is as crowded and crazy as the local shopping mall. Parking spaces are at a premium, and the lines are long at cash registers as everyone tries to get their last few gifts bought.

Severn River Church participated in an outreach/fundraiser for the last two nights at Marley Station Mall in Glen Burnie, in which we wrapped gifts for harried shoppers--mostly men--for a small fee. It gave us a chance to raise some funds for some local missions projects that are coming up this year, as well as gave us some exposure to holiday shoppers who might just be searching for a church as well as the perfect gift!

We raised a little over $300 dollars in two nights, and certainly got exposure to dozens of shoppers who used our services. I was pleased with the results, mainly because of the support of the people who made it happen. I want to thank Lori Mullins, a friend who works at the mall and offered us this opportunity; I'm tremendously grateful to our faithful church members who took orders, wrapped gifts, and encouraged business in many ways: Drew and Jennifer Harrah, Ryan and Meghan Larson, Scott and Terri Poe, Scott Schuler, and Ben Rainey, Sr. I especially appreciate Pastor Ben and Corie who helped lead this activity, since my work schedule didn't allow me to be there the whole time.

The Angel Choir

2009-12-15T18:04:00.002-05:00

I remarked to a friend this week that I find children singing to be the most beautiful sound in the world. I love how pure and innocent they sound; it's just delightful to see a child sing--especially one who is serious and passionate about his song.

It makes me think . . . if I were God summoning the angels to sing out the good news of Christ's birth, I'd make their voices sound like children. I'd fill the heavens with that sound so clear and uncontaminated.

I wonder what it actually sounded like.

Good News Gets Shared!

2009-12-14T18:43:00.002-05:00

I have been offered a new job, starting in 2010, as the director of the Towson Y preschool. I appreciate those of you who were job references for me during my job hunt, and those of you specifically who have stood with me in prayer for a permanent career job.

I've been blessed for the past few months to work 20+ hours a week for a wonderful boss and crew of staff members at Therapy Solutions in Severna Park. It's been so great working there, that I am recommending the job to any of you who are looking or know someone looking. The job here is 2-8 pm Mon.-Thurs, and 12-6 pm on Fridays. It's a fairly easy receptionist job, with the rewards of seeing children all day as they come in for therapy. I've enjoyed the conversations with my fellow colleagues and the parents in the waiting room; this job has seemed more like a group of friends. If you (or someone you know) is interested, please give me a call or email me.

However, I'm excited to move on to a job that is suited to me personally and professionally. I'm being offered some good benefits, and I hope to be a benefit to the Y organization as a whole once I begin working there in January.

God and Television

2009-12-10T15:48:00.002-05:00

On many television shows, a relationship or belief in God is a common theme. I've noticed it on medical shows as well as forensic dramas, as if a belief in God has to be in conflict with an understanding of science.

Tonight at 8 pm on Fox, the show Bones is airing a Christmas episode. I've seen a clip from the latter half (as the plot wraps up) that has a wonderful Christian message. I was very impressed to see such a clear presentation of the meaning of Christmas--Christ our Redeemer--being presented on a secular show.

If you get a chance to watch, you can support a rare Hollywood admission of the Gospel.

If I Wrote God's Résumé

2009-12-01T16:48:00.006-05:00

If practice makes perfect, then I should have an ideal résumé by now. In the past year, I have rewritten my resume hundreds of times. I have been bright and charming; I have been dull and boring; I have been, shall we say, creative with the truth, emphasizing some aspects of my previous jobs more than others. I have skipped some employment all together, and on other versions, I've listed any lemonade stand I ever manned. I suppose to some extent I've been successful--I've had several interviews.

But the whole process has got me thinking about the way that we describe ourselves and our accomplishments. Clearly, the job market puts value on certain skills and ability. There is significance to education and training, but the biggest thing that makes a job candidate stand out from the others is results!

When we worship the Lord, we recognize the skills and abilities of God. We appreciate his accomplishments, and we document his results. The Psalms are full of God's "experience and qualifications" and I am reminded of them as I read Psalm 103,

"Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him . . . "

Can you imagine having a résumé like that one?

The Grocery Fairy

2009-12-01T16:36:00.004-05:00

Last night when I got home from work, tired and hungry, I noticed right away that someone had been inside my home. A lamp was lit, like a beacon welcoming me into the house, and I knew I hadn't left the lamp on. I looked around to see what else had been disturbed, and saw my kitchen floor was covered in grocery bags. A quick look inside the fridge revealed that that it was full, too. The grocery fairy had visited and left me all kinds of staples to start off my kitchen pantry! I got sugar and flour, salt and pepper, canned goods, and paper products. There was even a little potpie waiting for me to heat up for a late after-work dinner. There were breakfast items and meat packages, pasta, rice, and pudding snacks. I grasped a carrot and held it high, like Scarlet O'Hara, and shouted, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

No, not really, but it was a great feeling to know that my cupboards were full. Plus, someday it will be a good sermon illustration! Thank you, grocery fairy!

The Right Players

2009-11-28T12:23:00.003-05:00

When my niece Sydney started playing soccer at age three, my family got involved in a variety of ways. We were spectators, trainers, and my brother even started coaching. For the past few weeks, he's made the rounds of the growth groups of Severn River Church, sharing a devotional thought based on his soccer coaching experiences.

One of his points was that having the right players really makes a difference. You can have a deep bench of players, but if none of them are any good, it doesn't help you win. The right players are worth pursuing because they will help you accomplish the great things you envision.

We've been applying that value to our church growth plan, but this weekend I saw it in action in my own personal life. I moved yesterday, making a few runs with a small trailer full of boxes and "small stuff." Today, the men in my family moved the "big stuff"--furniture for the living room, dining area, and bedroom. We were aided by Michael Martin, an energetic young man from my former church.

I have personally thanked those involved, but I would like to publicly say that Dad, Mom, Andy, Sarah, Ben, Corie, and Michael Martin made this whole move possible, and I couldn't be more thankful for their help. Having the right players made all the difference.

House and Home

2009-11-24T21:44:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my thirty-mmphmpm birthday. To celebrate, I had a wonderful dinner with my family on Sunday night, where I ate my favorite steak and opened presents. I took the day off of work, and oh, yeah, I bought my first home.

Two months ago, a friend mentioned an open condo unit in her building; was I interested? I looked through it one night, and thought it wouldn't hurt to check on financing. As it turned out, I reconnected with an old family friend who sells real estate, and she helped me find financing. She also helped me find a great condo in Sun Valley, right between my parents and sister's homes in Millersville and my brother's home in Glen Burnie. At first I couldn't believe that I would actually get a loan; then I was amazed that I found a place I actually liked in my price range. Quite often I felt that God was really blessing me throughout the process, and yesterday at settlement, I was sure that He had given me more than I've ever deserved.

It's not a palace, but it's perfect for me. I'm only one person, and I've learned to be content when I've had much and when I've had little. Mom has been helping me paint, and we hope to move in on Saturday. Anyone who has some free time would be welcome to carry in some boxes!

Back online

2009-11-17T23:16:00.003-05:00

While I was having some writer's block issues, friends and family started telling me that my blog had disappeared. After some research, I discovered that my domain name (www.arielrainey.com) had come up for renewal, but my credit card expired, and my email address was an old one that I no longer use, so I wasn't getting my notices from the company for renewal.

I finally got it hashed out and updated over the last few days, and finally I'm back online. Now, if only I was over the writer's block . . .

Somebody Loves Me (and Knows Me Too Well)

2009-08-31T20:02:00.003-04:00

Guess what I got today at work? A special delivery! This lovely snickers bouquet, created by Sarah Gilt at A Blooming Basket, was a real treat today when it arrived at my office. In the card was written:

Roses are red, but snickers taste better,
If you work really hard, you can pay off your debtors!

I thought that was as cute as the bouquet. Thanks for the surprise, Sarah!

New Job

2009-08-31T10:58:00.004-04:00

I'm really excited about my new job--working as a medical receptionist in a physical therapy office. Already, I've been blessed: my boss hired me at one rate and promised it would increase in three weeks, once I'd learned the responsibilities. Instead, when I got my check today, she wrote in, "I'm so happy with your work ethic, I went ahead and bumped you up immediately." Great news! Plus, I'm working full-time this week as a sub for another employee, which is really helping me catch up with my bills.

Normally, I'll work 3:30- 8:00 pm and then on Fridays during the day. Also, I'm available to sub in for other workers as needed (until I get something else full-time). So, I'm a busy little bee, but it's really encouraging to have my schedule filled after weeks of sending out resumes!

New Job

2009-08-27T08:50:00.003-04:00

Today I am happy to announce that I have a new part-time job. I'm working as a front desk receptionist at a physical therapy practice in Severna Park. I will do training all day today, and may be on my own as early as this afternoon, if I catch on quick.

I really like the owner of the practice, having interviewed with her yesterday. The place is small and all the employees seem very friendly and connected. I'm really looking forward to learning some new skills and making some new friends. I'm already thinking about the day when I can invite them to special events at SRC!

Reading The Message

2009-08-24T15:28:00.003-04:00

"You don't need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything." (Colossians 2:9-10)

What imagery! I love the visual images and the rhyme scheme on this verse from The Message. A telescope views galaxies and stars light years away, and a microscope observes even the tiniest details of microorganisms; a horoscope claims to predict knowledge beyond the scope of human control--but the fullness of Christ reaches beyond them all! Compared to his fullness, every other fascination is empty. It's an amazing verse.

Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

2009-08-22T17:11:00.002-04:00

My family has a new hobby--cleaning up/out my grandmother's home and property. We are selling it, and in a few months, everything must be gone. We've had a few all-family work days so far, and there are plenty more to come. It's a huge job. My grandparents built their home fifty years ago, at least, and with their depression-era mindsets, they didn't throw anything away. My grandfather in particular, just built more sheds to hold all his old rusty mailboxes and broken electronics.

Since his death in 2001, the property has fallen into increasing disrepair; none of us could make it a full-time job, as it was for him. Last week, we did a lot of the outside work, clearing out things that were covered in vines. The harder we yanked, attempting to free stuff, the harder those vines held on! We hauled a few truckloads to the dump last weekend, and this weekend, we got a dumpster delivered.

Today we all split into different areas, some outside, some working in storage areas, and some hauling what turned out to be a lot of trash to the dumpster. Due to recent storms, the basement had flooded, so there was a lot of damage to boxes, too. It didn't take long until we were covered in slime from moldy boxes, sweat, dust, and cobwebs. But at least when we quit for lunch, we had made a big dent in the job that continues. . . .

A Smile and a Handshake

2009-08-21T14:44:00.002-04:00

The era of the small business is not yet over. Today I spent most of the morning with a small dilemma--I bought a gift that wasn't as personal as I wished to make it. I decided to add an engraved plate, and called Things Remembered to ask about their rates. No one answered, so I called King James Galleries, a stone's throw from home but I'd never been inside the framing store.

The owner was so genial on the phone, supplying information above and beyond my questions, that I decided to pop in just to say thanks. When I went in, I told him about my gift and my desire to personalize it, and he made a great suggestion. In fact, he recommended another local business that could aid me in the changes as well.

I left him, and spent an hour at the UPS store, who graciously printed some oversize materials for me, things I could never do at home on my printer. After an hour and many resizing changes, the new manager at the Pasadena UPS charged me a grand total of $1.12! His generosity was so appealing, I promised he'd have my business in the future.

I headed back to King James Galleries with my printed materials, dropped off my gift, and went to catch an ice cream sundae with my mom and sister. By the time I finished the last scoop of my dessert, the framer was already calling to tell me he'd finished my order!

His framing looks great, and it cost me 1/4 of the money Michaels charges (and takes two weeks to do). I was so thrilled that both of these men helped me today--even with custom orders and rush jobs--that I was moved to recommend their business to friends and family. I like the small business service with a smile and a handshake, and I know I'll use it again.

Israel and New Breed

2009-07-21T13:46:00.002-04:00

I'm listening to a new album that I bought on Itunes (available also at Christian bookstores) called A Deeper Level, by Israel Houghton. Great music, even greater worship. I just got a device to plug my ipod into my car, and I love being able to listen to all this praise and worship music as I drive my delivery routes. If you have never heard Israel (often listed as Israel and New Breed), check out "Let it Rain" and "Say So" on YouTube. Amazing!

God in my Hurting

2009-07-09T15:39:00.003-04:00

I believe in Divine Healing, and I’m thankful for the supernatural touch of God that cures our diseases and restores our physical bodies. I’m grateful for the shed blood of Christ that provided that healing to us. I have prayed for healing, proclaimed healing, and had the proof of God’s healing in my life. Friends and family members have also experienced this miraculous healing, and love to testify about it.

But . . . what about when God doesn’t heal?

I have other friends and family members who long for the healing touch of God, but for reasons only He knows, God doesn’t heal them. These are people of faith and faithfulness to the Lord. They have obeyed the scripture in their pursuit of healing, but the healing they desire hasn’t happened.

This past week we sang a new worship song at church (new to me, at least), and I found myself contemplating the words of the song: “God in my hurting, God in my healing.” Given the choice, I’d much rather have the healing, thank you very much. But God is sovereign, and even when He doesn’t heal, He is still there with me in the trial I face. In fact, I’d venture to say that for every verse in the Bible about healing, there are probably ten more about God’s grace in the midst of our suffering. God’s provision, God’s sustaining hand, God’s protection, God’s attentive ear to our cries—all of these permeate the scripture as a testimony of those who may not have known God’s healing, but they knew God in their hurting. From David in his expressive Psalms to Paul who begged for release from his “thorn in the flesh,” the writers of the Bible knew that in their pain, He was still God.

God in my hurting means that He walks with me through the troubles; He is rock-solid and faithful, even when I am weak and faithless. I can trust Him to work in my life, even if it is not through a miraculous healing touch.

“Gideon’s lamps were revealed when his soldiers’ pitchers were broken. If our pitchers are broken for the Lord and his gospel’s sake, lamps will be revealed that otherwise would have stayed hidden and unseen . . . . Out of affliction’s dark come spiritual light.” (John Bunyan)

Budget - No one's favorite word

2009-07-07T14:41:00.002-04:00

Since I've been searching for full-time employment, I've been taking the opportunity to educate myself at the local library. I've checked out books on promoting yourself in interviews, networking your contacts, and negotiating your salary. All of these books have been interesting and informative, but I came across something in the salary negotiation book that has really stayed with me.

Jack Chapman (Negotiating Your Salary: How to Make $1,000 a Minute) says that when it comes to money, particularly the amount the boss has already decided to pay a certain position, there are three governing rules: budget, fudgeit, and judgeit. Budget is the actual amount that approved or set aside in the finances of the company. It is pre-determined and fixed.

Fudgeit is a cute term for the plans we make when we go over our budget but determine to fix it somehow elsewhere in the budget. "I can afford this new dress if I eat mac 'n cheese for the next two weeks" or "If I get the upgrade package on this computer, I'll pay less in peripheral expenses." We rob Peter to pay Paul, because we really want something that overextends us to a manageable extent. We fudge the numbers until it works.

Judgeit is Jack Chapman's term for spending a ridiculous amount, with no way to rearrange the numbers, but for something that we judge to be worth it in the long run. For example, someone could buy a house that is too large and too expensive, but choose to operate a home-business in the basement (saving rent elsewhere). It may take a while, but eventually the buyer believes that good judgment will pay off. Someone could purchase a luxury car, believing that clients will be so dazzled with his car that he will gain contracts. A boss can be so impressed with a prospective employee during an interview that he will pay more than the budgeted salary, judging that this employee will actually bring more money or efficiency into the company in the future.

I was reflecting on this recently, because it applies to personal budgeting, and so many other areas of life! For me, my nieces are a judgeit category. When I'm tired or when I have other things I should be doing (like blogging), I still have little kids that want me to read a book to them, or play on the computer, or watch a movie on my bed. I don't always have time budgeted to do that, not even to fudgeit with other things on the schedule, but I know that in the long run, I won't regret having spent time with them while they're young and in awe of such a great aunt.

Whether you count coins, calories, or calendar squares, these three principles--budget, fudgeit, and judgeit--are worth consideration.

July 4th Outreach

2009-07-04T22:43:00.003-04:00

We had a great outreach day at the Severna Park Festival and Parade, thanks in a large part to our Outreach team volunteers (Rob and Alma pictured). We had perfect weather--maybe the best July 4th weather I've ever seen. This year, in addition to getting our contact surveys we also used our booth to promote our God in the Great Outdoors event and our Screen on the Green outreach, both upcoming in July.

In order to draw people to our booth, we had a balloon artist, which was a pretty good draw to families with young children (photo below). We participated last year for the first time, so this year's event was our sophomore attempt, and with each event, we gain experience and wisdom. I was pretty happy with our day!

Good, Better, Best

2009-06-30T18:36:00.000-04:00

Many years ago, I saw Phantom of the Opera at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. The show was memorable—falling chandeliers and soaring vocals. But there were lots of other little things I remember about that night, which had nothing to do with the show. The ladies room was way too small, maybe only four stalls, poorly built. My now sister-in-law was with us that night; then, she was just a girl my brother was dating, so I barely knew her and felt awkward making small talk. I also remember that in the program that night, there was a list of donors to the Kennedy Center, with fancy sounding names, like “Golden Circle” and “Maestro’s Circle” suppporters. In fact, there was an entire tiered program of donors with higher and more expensive appellations.

No one wants to be “basic.” No one wants to be average. I read in a book recently that no one wants to be “medium” so companies like Starbucks don’t use terms like small, medium, and large as a specific marketing choice. Visa “gold cards” gave way to “platinum cards” because we would all much rather be better (or at least have a better-sounding name).

The service planning committee at Severn River Church is an opportunity for our church to go from the basic package to the deluxe version of ourselves. By taking time to analyze and brainstorm, we are able to add in creative layers of media, music, visual and performing arts. We correct minor miscommunications and improve intangible things like transitions and preparation.

We could stay “average” but we would rather improve week by week until we are the best we can possibly be. Now, we just need a fancy-sounding name.

Zoom Lens

2009-06-29T17:26:00.002-04:00

Recently I was at a baby shower where the guest of honor was preparing to open gifts. Someone called for a photographer, and I volunteered to take the pictures. I had a pretty decent seat, so I figured I could take some good snaps. Unfortunately, I didn't have my own camera; I had a friend's camera. The first thing I noticed was that there was no zoom feature on her "point-and-shoot" camera. I realized I've become pretty accustomed to using my zoom lens to isolate just the image I want. I can eliminate distracting stuff in the foreground or be a little more creative with the focus.

Then, just the other day, I was on the community college campus, taking some reconnaissance pictures for our "God in the Great Outdoors" service. I wanted to get some basic shots of the amphitheater area, so that we could analyze the sunlight and shadows. I stood up at the top of the amphitheater, and used my zoom lens to focus on certain areas. It took me about three minutes. I actually felt lazy, standing in one area and zooming my focus all over the place, rather than just walking down to the open area. It's so easy to stand far away and use the lens to do the work for me.

As I stood there, a thought struck me that some people prefer to do ministry like that. To stand back and zoom in for a quick strike, perhaps isolate one particular person or one individual event, and then zip right back into the distance. I think when it comes to ministry, it's better to walk all way down and actually participate in the wide-angle perspective that includes everything.

Better Together

2009-06-24T20:23:00.002-04:00

Recently I have been able to spend time with my brother and sister in a different way than I have previously. I have shared bedrooms, meals, and more of my CDs than I ever wished to with my siblings. Now I’m sharing a new responsibility of service planning for Severn River Church. We meet weekly for a serious and productive discussion of the previous week’s worship service, before turning our attention to the upcoming services and events. The meeting works well, because obviously, we know each other extremely well. There is no subtext to our discussions, no personal agendas.

The best part for me is that this meeting allows each of us to focus on what our individual gifts are; for three people raised in the same home by the same parents, we each have unique personalities, and Severn River Church gets the benefit. My sister is very relational. She loves to greet and serve people. She has a natural gift of making strangers feel like instant friends. She also loves children, decorating, and humor--she is one of the funniest people I know! My brother is the classic peacemaker, a person able to see value in everyone’s ideas and make people feel like they are connected to a group. He is a leader and a big-picture thinker. When I sit next to them in our meeting, I realize that I am not very funny, like my sister. I am not a peacemaker like my brother. My contribution is creative ideas and organization of details. My sister likes to joke that if we forged our three personalities, we would make the perfect person. I doubt that’s true, but I’m glad that we can bring three different perspectives to the table in our meetings.

I have another weekly meeting with a friend named Sue. Sue has a personality almost exactly like mine. In fact, we have scored within a few points of each other on different personality tests. When I meet with Sue, our similar personalities are so complimentary that one might think we can’t really sharpen each other, but that meeting is just as valuable as the service planning meeting. We push each other, question each other, coach one another, and commiserate together about how annoying everyone else is!

As we left our meeting today, Sue said, “We are better together,” citing the Biblical explanation of the Body of Christ in I Corinthians 12:12-27. I thought it applied to my meeting with Sue, my almost-mirror in personality, but it was also appropriate for my meeting with Ben and Sarah, who are in many ways my opposites. We are better together.

Book Review: The Yada Yada Prayer Group

2009-06-03T21:38:00.001-04:00

This novel is the first of seven novels which I devoured over the last couple of weeks. All of the books can be found in the Anne Arundel Library system, which is where I discovered the first book and became subsequently addicted.

I have read all types of Christian fiction—the good, the bad, and the really cheesy. These novels are light-hearted and fun, due to the author’s descriptions of each very unique character. The best feature of the novels, though, is the emphasis on prayer and worship that is the core of every book.

The plot begins with Jodi Baxter, a self proclaimed “good girl” who has been a Christian all her life. She agrees to attend a women’s prayer conference one weekend with a colleague that she barely knows. During the conference, she is paired up with eleven other women in a prayer group for the few days of their conference. However, the women bond more than they expect to through some difficult circumstances happening in one lady’s family that weekend; they form a permanent prayer group, meeting bimonthly, from all over Chicago. Their differing races, ethnicities, worship practices, and economic backgrounds make for a very interesting prayer group, but in each novel the group faces more and more challenges, which only serve to draw them closer. I felt that these books were not only entertaining, but really convicted me about my own prayer life. These fictional novels model a stronger Christianity that many a true believer has.

Landshark!

2009-05-23T19:20:00.003-04:00

There is an old Saturday Night Live skit where Chevy Chase dresses in a big shark costume and rings the doorbells of unsuspecting women. Once they answer, he attacks them as a "landshark." Naturally, some people are more savvy and don't answer, so he is forced to claim he is a delivery person or a girl scout selling cookies, until they answer.

[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]
Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: What?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot. You get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark, and you know it.
Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]

I've been working for the past week and a half delivering flowers, which means a lot of ringing door bells and pounding on doors. Here are some things I've learned:

There are some really beautiful neighborhoods tucked away in Anne Arundel County
There are also some scary ghettos, especially by Fort Meade
You can order a flower delivery to a specific gravesite on Memorial Day
People's first reaction to getting flowers is to ask me who they are from, as if I know all the details of their personal life. (I don't take the orders, and I certainly don't read the cards!)
Men who are in the doghouse really do order flowers for their ladies
"Bad" neighbors will keep flowers, candy baskets, etc. and never tell the rightful owners that they accepted them on their behalf
All the funeral homes have special places to store flowers until the viewing rooms are ready. At least one funeral home washes their hearse each and every day to keep a respectful shine for your deceased loved one.
This job is way more interesting than I realized it would be.

I'm still working part-time for Severn River Church, and I'm still filling out applications and sending resumes out (which sometimes feels like a full-time job in itself). Keep praying for me!

The Psalms

2009-05-19T17:45:00.002-04:00

Can you imagine what the Bible would be like without the Psalms? I've been reading The Message lately, and I particularly enjoy the unique take on the Psalms. I was thinking recently that the Psalms have probably become my favorite book of the Bible over the last few years. I used to prefer the poetic imagery of Isaiah; then, I found the straightforward exhortation of James to be practical. I typically read Acts at least once a year, the Gospels frequently, and Leviticus--well, only if I have to.

But no other book is like the Psalms. Whole portions of the Bible are narrative, dogmatic, or prophetic, but very little of the Bible is man's own response to God. David and the other psalmists expressed every human emotion openly and authentically to God in music. Anger, bitterness, fear, frustration, desperation, and disappointment--these line up right along with joy, gratitude, forgiveness, comfort, confidence, peace, and praise. If all the rest of the Bible describes God's revelation of Himself to man, the Psalms record man's revelation of his own encounter with God.

If the Bible didn't have the Psalms right in the middle, imagine how limited Christian practice would be.

The Blessings

2009-05-15T21:38:00.003-04:00

Lately, I've been amazed by the ways that God blesses me. I try to be obedient to the Lord, and then stay out of His way, because He often does things that I would never anticipate.

This week I've been pretty busy, because I'm currently working two jobs! Severn River Church has hired me to work part time for them this summer, working on outreach and evangelism. So far, that has kept me busy on the internet. As I keep getting into it, it presents more decisions and questions, so it's definitely interesting. I'm very excited about it.

My second job is delivering flowers for A Blooming Basket (located on Veteran's Highway). My sister works there already, and through a friendship with the owners, they've offered me temp work - first, working at the mall kiosk selling flowers, and then as a delivery person when the regular delivery man has some medical leave. So, I'm one of the "pink people" driving around town in a pink delivery van in my pink uniform shirt and pink ball cap with the embroidered logo. It's very relaxing to deliver flowers. I drive around in the car by myself, singing at the top of my lungs to the radio, checking out all the beautiful homes in the area, with such pretty lawns and gardens. I just have to watch my driving, so no one calls to complain about my speed or failure to signal.

I'm also lining up some summer speaking engagements for pastors who are taking vacation time. That's especially fun for me. I always love the opportunity to preach, and in places where the congregations already know me, it makes for a nice reunion.

So, all that to say that I'm tired, and I'll try to get to the blog more often in the next few weeks.

Have You Missed Me?

2009-05-08T23:11:00.002-04:00

Sorry that I've been incommunicado lately.

Last Sunday - I preached for a minister friend on vacation. I drove to Winchester afterward for District Council

Monday - I was at District Council, where Larry Hickey reminded us that we ministers need to quit whining.

Tuesday - District Council presents me more food for thought: being "cool" is the new idol of the Church

Wednesday - Driving home from Winchester put me into the local area just in time to go to my favorite temp job--working at the mall at a kiosk.

Thursday - People watching at the mall always gives me something that amuses me, something that shocks me, and lots of friends to visit with.

Friday - I had a job interview in Clinton, MD which isn't over yet. I still have to pass the "practical" French test on a conference call with a native French speaker (I hope he'll call this weekend).

My week has been pretty busy, and it's not over yet. I'll be back at the computer posting regularly though, now that I'm home and able to squeeze in a few minutes between shifts at the mall.

You've Got to Be Kidding Me!!!

2009-04-28T17:17:00.002-04:00

Today I spent about an hour and half on www.monster.com, building a resume and a profile that potential employers could access. At the end of that long process, I came to a page that had six recommended jobs for me. At the head of the list: Cheesecake Factory Waitress or Line Cook.

For this I learned a second language and got a Master's Degree?

Won by One

2009-04-27T19:27:00.003-04:00

For several months now, I've been leading a small group. I don't call it a small group; it's advertised as a weight-loss support group, but my motives were to reach people through a means other than church. Someone who has never been to church (or worse--has been burned in their church experience) usually stereotypes Christians to be weird or too narrow-minded or worse. They are often already prejudiced in their thinking, and they shy away from religious things. I think personal evangelism works best when they discover that a trusted and respected friend is a committed Christian. Then they have a face to put with the "Christian" definition, and they broaden their thoughts about church, Christ, and Christianity.

The strongest evangelism methods have always been personal--from the day that Christ called his first disciple, face-to-face, and it remains the most effective way to reproduce faith in others. That's why I advertised my weight-loss group on a social networking website, so that I could meet people that I wouldn't meet otherwise. A diet group has the advantage of immediately placing people in trusting relationship; once you weigh yourself and chat about back-fat, you have effectively stripped away your guard. You forge friendships in frank honesty that may not exist in other social venues.

I write about this tonight, because we had a new lady join us at our group, who found us on the website. I'm excited because while we talk about our health and weight issues, the other group members are praying for her and hoping for opportunities to share Jesus with her personally.

If You're Interested . . .

2009-04-22T17:16:00.002-04:00

For those of who that might be interested, I heartily recommend the Healthy Choice Chicken Fettcini Alfredo dinner. The alfredo sauce is very rich and creamy. It tasted great at lunch today, and I have to admit, I was surprised by how much I liked it (for a "diet" meal).

Thought for Today

2009-04-21T14:27:00.001-04:00

We live in a society that values knowledge. In fact, this is called the “Information Age,” where the internet provides wiki answers to any question you pose. With our 3G cell phones, we can access the internet and find information in seconds, while we’re mobile and unable to sit at a computer. More employees have higher degrees at this time than at any other in our nation’s history. “Knowledge is power!” Once uttered by Sir Francis Bacon, this sentence has become the mantra of children’s educational programming and public education initiatives.

Dr. Joyce Meyer states, “Give yourself permission not to know and be satisfied with knowing the One who does,” in her book, I Dare You.

For all the value we place on knowledge, we are still finite. We are limited in our understanding of the world around us, despite our quests to conquer that ignorance. And, if we can’t discover answers through science or research, we turn to psychics and horoscopes for knowledge that is beyond our control.

I believe there is knowledge that we are not meant to have here on earth. That’s why being satisfied to know God, the One who is omniscient, is a key to our relationship to Him. I don’t have to know everything because He already does.

Big Weekend

2009-04-20T12:19:00.004-04:00

The Harundale Youth Sports parade on Saturday morning--gorgeous weather for it! Congrats to Corie, who designed and created the winning banner for Sydney's Blue Sharks team.

Sydney plays in her first soccer game of 2009. The cold, windy weather didn't stop the kids from having a great time.

On Sunday night, after an active weekend, we celebrated Sarah's 27th and Eric's 31st birthdays. Those candles didn't stand a chance with all the kids to blow out the candles.

Thursday

2009-04-16T17:26:00.003-04:00

My day started with a genuine New York City bagel, and I can still smell the savory "everything" bagels I'm bringing home to my family. I ran some errands with Cindy, here in sun-dappled Queens, where birds are singing in the warm weather. I did some shopping and we've spent a lot of time hanging out today, which has also been fun.

I get to meet my friend's boyfriend in a little while; I've been waiting this whole trip for that! I get to grill him on his intentions, hint at future offspring, and ask pointed questions about the date of the wedding. Well, Cindy says I can't do any of that, but we'll see . . .

Maria! I've just met a girl named Maria!

2009-04-15T19:38:00.002-04:00

West Side Story is amazing. I spent the day downtown in New York, seeing one of my favorite musicals on Broadway as a matinee. The dancing is amazing, and the "revival" of the musical has some interesting changes that I enjoyed.

Afterward we ate an early dinner at Helen's Stardust Diner, on 51st, in which Broadway hopefuls wait tables and sing show tunes in live performances. They dance on tables and crack jokes during musical interludes. The Old Fashioned Malted Milkshake I drank was wonderful, and we enjoyed the live performance of the young, talented wait staff.

Walking along Broadway gave us a lot to laugh at, as usual. I can't even mention on this blog, in the name of good taste, half of the stuff we saw.

We're sitting back in Queens now watching the sun set on a great day, and it was the best (late) birthday present I got this past year.

A City So Nice They Named It Twice

2009-04-14T14:43:00.002-04:00

In a few minutes, I will be headed out to New York for a few days. I'm going to visit my good friend Cindy, who lives in Queens. We've got a big day planned tomorrow: seeing West Side Story on Broadway, followed by lunch and sightseeing in the City. I'm looking forward to my visit, since I will meet Cindy's serious boyfriend for the first time, as well as many other friends that I've heard her talk about over the years.

I'll try to update the blog as I have time, but if I don't get to the computer for a couple of days, I'm sure you'll understand!

The Cutest Easter Chicks

2009-04-13T16:00:00.002-04:00

At the Mall

2009-04-09T22:42:00.002-04:00

Well, I return to the blog after a few days of being so busy, I didn’t even check my email. I’m still busy, but I’ll give you an update. Yesterday I started a temp job for some family friends; I’ll be helping them operate a kiosk at the Marley Mall until Saturday night. (I’m the one with the flower stand by the food court.) It’s already been pretty interesting. Here’s what happened last night:

6:00 pm – I show up and get a quick lesson on the basics from my sister who’s been there all day. It’s going to be pretty easy, actually.

6:10 pm – I see some friends from church mall-walking so I chat with them for a few minutes.

6:30 pm – As I chat with the lady at the kiosk next to mine, she asks me if I recently graduated from college. Whoa! That makes my day and I almost break my jaw I’m grinning so much.

6:47 pm – Some guys from Hakky (the shoe repair place) walk by and say, “You’re new. We’ll come back and get to know you after work.” Ha! I bet these guys have a girl at every kiosk.

7:08 pm- A three year old girl wanders by, with no parents. A lady behind her says she’s been following her through the mall, without seeing any adult near her. I take the child’s hand and bring her to my kiosk, intending to summon a security guard, but before I can, her mother comes running up. Her face is blotchy from crying and running through the mall, and she’s obviously scared as she grabs up the child tightly to her chest. She turns to a man skulking behind her, and screams, “That’s the last time you watch her while I’m in the store!” That guy is seriously in the doghouse.

7:17 pm – a guy comes and discusses vases with me. He handles all of them and estimates the effect they’ll have on the décor in his apartment. He works in the mall, cutting hair, and says he’ll come back to get the vases later, and I believe him. He’s of the persuasion of men who discuss vases and décor, if you know what I mean.

7:30 pm – First sale! A guy buys his wife flowers for a whopping $15.95.

7:42 pm - A ten-year old girl walks by with her grandmother. The child is begging for something in a store, but Grandma says, “Talk to the hand,” and waves her off. The kid smacks her own rear end and sasses her back. “Talk to the booty, ‘cause the hand is off duty!” Kids these days, I’m telling you!

8:03 pm – Miss Pat, the lady at the kiosk next to me, and I start a deep discussion about flowers. It is truly amazing that God created so many varieties, with their distinct colors and fragrances. They bring so much beauty to our lives; we can appreciate that plants aren’t merely functional but so pleasant, as well. We’re very philosophical . . . for about 3 minutes.

8:21 pm – Two girls come by and complain about the prices at my stand. They stand in front of the products and annoy me with their comments. Plus, they are obnoxious about it, and I think they’re very immature. I try to draw their attention to the prom corsage samples, and they inform me with disdain that they have been out of school “a long time.” They are clearly insulted, but give it a few years, girls. You’ll be happy then to be confused with young people!

8:26 pm – Obnoxious girls return and buy a gerber daisy. Finally.

8:29 pm – I am addicted to The Message. I just got a copy on Tuesday and I’ve been reading it in the down time here at the stand. LOVE IT!

8:51 pm – I start to clean up the area, very casually, so I don’t look like I’m trying to head out too early. But I’m tired. I’ve driven three hours today, had a two hour job interview, sat for three hours on a stool in the mall, and I’m done!

That was my exciting night. Temping is fun and every day provides new experiences!

Job Interview

2009-04-07T16:35:00.002-04:00

I would appreciate your prayers for me tonight as I travel to Pennsylvania and tomorrow as I interview for a position. I know that you have already been praying for me, and that makes such a huge difference! I had good friends pray with me today right in their living room that God would open the right doors for me.

Today has been a busy day of preparation for this interview, but God has already provided well above what I could have ever imagined. I give Him all the credit for the blessings I've had today!

Down Memory Lane (with a great point!)

2009-04-02T15:33:00.007-04:00

The Gospel doesn't change, but our methods do. Christianity has to be relevant to real life.

Bowling

2009-03-31T13:57:00.009-04:00

Saturday night I spent with the Severn River Church crowd having a fun night of bowling. My nieces were very excited; they had a blast, as you can see:

Ellie couldn't really bowl, but she enjoyed the eats at the bowling alley.

Roll the ball, Sydney! Roll!

Wow! Look how many pins I knocked down!

(Click on any picture to view larger)

Practice Makes Perfect

2009-03-26T11:41:00.004-04:00

Jan (Ignacy) Paderewski (1860-1941) a Polish pianist, composer, and eventual Prime Minister of Poland, once said of his musical skills:

"If I miss one day of practice, I notice it. If I miss two days, the critics notice it. If I miss three days, the audience notices it."

I think the same could be said of our prayer life.

Anonymous: Jesus’s Hidden Years and Yours

2009-03-25T20:12:00.002-04:00

Have you ever thought about the fact that 90% of Jesus’ life was spent in utter obscurity? The gospels record the details of only a few precious years of His life, but there were approximately 30 years that unobserved, unnoted, and certainly unsung. In her book, Anonymous, Alicia Britt Chole uses the anonymity of Jesus’ experience in the desert to illustrate the difficult process of growth in a barren place.

“People generally do not stand in line for a tour of our hidden years, which can be rather disheartening if we are in the habit of determining the value of our life’s seasons by ticket sales. Though unpopular, these hidden places are not unproductive; within them God houses the unglamorous guts of a truly fruitful existence. There in the poorly lit crawl spaces of life (transitions, prolonged waiting, new additions to the family, preparatory education, relocation, retirement, unexplainable loss, extended illness, irresolvable conflict, and all else that tends to hide us) God builds within us a sturdy support system for our souls.”

In His desert experience, Jesus faced three major temptations – the temptations of appetite, applause, and authority. Jesus could easily have succumbed to Satan’s suggestions, weakened as He was, but the decisions He had made in his previous 30 years led Him to make the right decisions when the moment really counted. Anonymous years seem so unvalued, but the lessons learned in them determine our future.

I could go on and on about this book, but here’s the greatest compliment I can give: this is the best book I have read in years. I am recommending this book to everyone I know, because not only are the spiritual insights worth the read, but Chole is a master writer. She slides deep truth into simple sentences. Although I love to read (and read very quickly), I took four months to read this book, so that I could truly apply what I was learning. When I bought the book, I wasn’t even in an “anonymous” situation, but over the past few months, I found the book to be more and more appropriate to my own life. You will not be sorry to invest in this book.

Ethan Allen Faith in an Ikea World

2009-03-23T21:25:00.004-04:00

I had a conversation with my brother recently, while moving furniture, that Ethan Allen furniture is really great stuff. It's built to last forever, and it's worth the high price. Unfortunately, most people can't afford to decorate their entire home in one fell swoop from expensive furniture stores, so half of their furniture is hand-me-downs, a few pieces are high quality, and a few pieces are from places like Ikea. You can only afford to do so much at one time, and when you first move into a new home, you need things immediately--beds to sleep in, tables to eat on. You get what you need at the moment. The problem is that you get what you pay for; buying furniture from Ikea means you'll have to replace it in about three years.

In the past few months, I've dealt with a few things spiritually that have been difficult for me. I was praying this weekend about it, and I questioned God about these particular trials. I was reminded of my furniture conversation.

My faith has become more solid in the past few months than it would have been before. It's Ethan Allen faith now--built to last a lifetime and beyond. It won't fall apart under weighty pressure; it won't crack or crumble. Ethan Allen faith is so solid, it takes major effort to move it even a few inches away from it's position, and it's very costly--more than you might be willing to pay, actually, so it's tempting to settle for something cheaper, quicker, and in the end, much weaker. True and solid faith, like Ethan Allen furniture, is always the better investment.

Prov. 24:10, If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!

Women in Ministry Retreat

2009-03-23T11:05:00.003-04:00

This weekend I took a break from the Internet by going to our district campground for a retreat for women in ministry. Typically, there aren't many women who attend--around 30 or 40--so we are able to enjoy a more intimate retreat, with a lot of time for fellowship and connection with other women. I came home with good ideas from other churches, and some unique ideas of my own. You can count on reading more about that throughout this week.

I'm about to head out to run some errands, including returning a library book that I thought would be worth a mention. What Have You Changed Your Mind About? is a compilation of essays written by some of the nation's most high-powered thinkers. The essays were in response to the title question, posed on Edge.org, a website dedicated to "intellectuals in action."

I picked up the book, thinking that it would be a thought-provoking read. Just the title alone grabbed my attention, causing me to question what I had changed my mind about over the years. By mind-changing, I don't mean simple things like, "I now prefer baking soda toothpaste," but a true reversal of a value or a belief I once held.

I couldn't really say that I had changed my mind about any of my spiritual beliefs, although I have changed my mind about techniques and systems that promote those beliefs. I haven't changed my moral views, although my greater experiences in life continually cause me to expand my grace rather than my judgment about morality.

After a great deal of thought, I realized that I have changed my mind about my responsibility for recycling. I used to figure it was something for "someone" to do, but not necessarily me. Living in Europe, in a society more dedicated to personal ecological responsibility, I began to commit more to recycling and a lower carbon footprint.

I challenge you: what have you changed your mind about?

Card Carrying Members

2009-03-18T23:36:00.002-04:00

I like that Severn River Church has little business cards made up with the church information on them. They contain the meeting time and location, complete with a little map. On the front they have a picture of a welcome mat; others have toast with the caption, “Burned out?” I carry the welcome ones in my wallet, because on occasion a conversation with someone will introduce the idea of church or religion or something I can use to mention the church. A card like that is a powerful visual aid and serves as a personal invitation.

In recent weeks—exactly one month, really—I have had two such conversations. One was during Valentines week, when I helped out as day labor at my sister’s employer, A Blooming Basket. They had several thousand roses in stock for Valentine’s Day and needed day help cleaning the roses. I scraped thorns off and put little green plastic sleeves on the necks of the roses to keep them firm. It was monotonous and hard on the hands, but everyone kept cheerful conversations going in the chilled workroom. The lady I worked with the most shared, unexpectedly one day, that she was backslidden. She was raised in an Assembly of God church and had given up her faith years before. Now, she was contemplating finding a local church; did I know one? I was shocked that she would confide these details (and many more to this story), and I wished then that I had a card with me for the church. Instead the best I could do was to tell her audibly, but I knew that was weak. What if she forgot? After that conversation I got ten cards in my wallet the very next Sunday.

Last week, my sister and I were doing some volunteer labor at my home church, and on our dinner break, we popped into Quizzno’s. We sat with Olivia, her daughter, and ate our subs in peace; the place was dead. A young couple came in and contemplated the menu, and “The Locomotion” came on the stereo. My sister and I were joking with Olivia, trying to get her to dance, and the young couple smiled over at us. Immediately the man came to the table, right across from me.

“Is your name Ariel? Do you remember me?”

“Bobby! Of course, I remember you!”

A guy I hadn’t seen since high school stood there, looking slightly more paunchy, slightly balder, and a lot friendlier than he did when he was a teen. I know I looked twenty years older, more paunchy, and a lot less judgmental than I was at fifteen when he was a troubled kid in a difficult situation. His father died recently, and I had heard about that, so I expressed my regrets. He mentioned that he had heard at the funeral that my brother was a pastor now. I verified it; he mentioned that he lived nearby, and after that brief exchange, he and his wife picked up their order and sat down across the restaurant to eat. My sister reminded me of the welcome cards, and got one from her wallet. Just before we left, I went over and gave the card to Bobby.

“I happen to have a card for my brother’s church, and I know he would be glad to see you again. The information is on the back. It was good seeing you, Bobby.”

At best, Bobby went home and thought about it, or maybe talked to his wife about it. At worst, he stuck it in his jacket pocket until one day when he’ll clean out the gum wrappers, old receipts, and find that card. It will be another reminder, one that might even work the second time.

That’s why I carry the cards.

Worth Order

2009-03-18T16:18:00.003-04:00

On Saturday, my brother was worried about getting sick and asked me to be prepared to preach for him on Sunday morning. The Lord was with him, though, and he was able to do the service himself, while I attended a special service at my home church.

I did prepare, however, what I would have shared. My brother has been doing a series on The Family of God, which I find interesting because the majority of my family attends Severn River Church. Both of my siblings, their spouses, and all of my nieces go to SRC, and since I’ve begun attending there, the “family” sense of the church has taken on a whole new meaning to me.
In my family, we make a lot of jokes about birth order. I have long maintained that some of my irritating traits (i.e. being bossy) are mostly a result of being the oldest and learning to take charge at a young age. We all watch my oldest niece do the exact same thing—bossing Livvy and Ellie around, directing them into playing games her way. My brother and sister have certain traits that psychologists attribute to birth order. I don’t put all my faith in that type of information, but I believe that some of it could be true. Scientists and educators have battled for years in the nature vs. nurture debate, that circumstances may affect our personalities more than just our pre-programmed DNA. Birth order would certainly be a circumstance that teaches by experience.

Recently I’ve been doing a study of I Samuel, and I’ve found a pattern in the comparison of David and Saul, that I’ve termed, “Worth Order.” Here is the basic version:

The people of Israel, tired of the leadership of the judges, demand a king. Samuel, the last judge (and one of the few righteous) counsels against it, but their insistence wears him down. God directs Samuel to Saul, a tall young man with a lot of insecurity. From the moment that Saul is introduced we see his insecurity: not telling his family that Samuel anointed him king (I Sam. 10:16), hiding in the baggage at his own inauguration (I Sam. 10:22), and when the soldiers were scattering away from his command, Saul can’t take their outward confirmation of his inward fear—that he is too weak to handle the job (I Sam. 13:8). He is so insecure about his ability to lead (or God’s ability to choose) that he eventually is driven literally insane by his jealousies of David, whom the villagers claim has slain ten times more enemies in battle.

The first lesson of Worth Order: God’s favor is worth more than man’s fear. Even though God had given Samuel specific direction to anoint Saul king, and even though Saul had witnessed the confirmation, been filled with the Spirit and began to prophesy, even though God gave Saul victories in early battles against their enemies, Saul still wasn’t convinced that God would come through in every situation. His fear of his own inability and of God’s unreliability leads to his downfall; God removes His favor and Saul learns that he will lose the kingdom.

In I Samuel 15, the story unfolds of another failure. Again facing a battle, Samuel gives Saul the words of the Lord: spare no one. But Saul and his men do spare the king, the best animals, and the plunder of the battle. Not even when Saul is caught red-handed by Samuel does he admit fault. Instead he claims that he was merely saving the plunder to dedicate to God, sacrificing the animals in acts of repentance and worship. This story always reminds me of the modern proverb, “It’s better to get forgiveness than permission.” People who know that they won’t get permission, act anyway, and then by their apology make restitution. Unfortunately, Samuel gives Saul the second lesson of Worth Order: obedience first is worth more than a sacrifice afterward (I Sam. 15:22). God gives Saul an object lesson, so there is no mistake; regardless of Saul's apology after, the kingdom has already been torn from him.

God gives the kingdom instead to His next chosen leader: David. Samuel is instructed to go to Jesse's home and anoint the next king, and a parade of Jesse's sons walk by as Samuel tries to figure out which one would be the best king. God reveals to Samuel the next lesson in Worth Order: a man's heart is worth more than the hype that surrounds him (I Sam. 16:7) .

There are a lot of leaders that have charisma, energy, brilliance, or a clever presentation; it doesn't mean that their hearts are pure. Like Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man, they can spin your mind--"Trouble! Right here in River City!"--but in the end, you will be deceived. God is the only one who can see and judge each person's heart, rather than his appearance. David had the heart to follow after God; even when he later sinned, his heart was broken before the Lord, and he expressed that brokeness to God in some of the most beautiful and poignant verses in the Bible.

When we see the chapters that contrast Saul and David, we see that Saul may have been taller in inches, but he was shorter in heart.

What are the Chances?

2009-03-17T14:26:00.002-04:00

I'm intrigued by the social website www.meetup.com. I first read about sites like that one in France, where I was a solitary person trying to find a social group where I could find friends who shared common interests. Since I've moved back to Maryland, I've used this site often to search for (and find) others in my area who want to connect for scrapbooking, or speaking French, et cetera. When I started "The Right Fit" group on Monday nights at my church, I listed in on the website as a weight-loss support group, for those in the area that might want to join. I'd like to see more people from the community--not just church folks.

In the past several weeks, there have been a handful of people who have indicated that they would like to join. Eagerly, I look for them each week, but none of them showed up until last night. A lady named Joy came, and while we were all welcoming her, I thought she looked really familiar.

"Do we know each other?" I asked her.

With her brow a little furrowed, she said she didn't think so.

"What's your last name?" And that's when it clicked. As soon as she said her last name, I realized that we worked together in Jerusalem ten years ago. Her husband was a local man from the Old City, and she was a southern American who had married him and was raising her family there. As a born-again believer herself, she applied to teach in the elementary school, while I taught in the junior high and high school.

After all these years, and half a world of geography, Joy and I now live in the same town, and she's even been attending my church for a few weeks, although I hadn't seen her. Her daughter is dating one of my former students, and we played the game of "who-do-you-keep-up-with?" trading information on our former co-workers and what's been going on since we were last in Jerusalem.

The world is so small, it amazes me sometimes.

Courage!

2009-03-13T14:45:00.004-04:00

I have a good friend who lost her job just after I resigned mine. We've spoken on the phone recently, since in many ways, we are going through the same process of beginning a new season in our lives. Her situation is different, though, in that she didn't choose to change jobs--it was forced on her, and in a very public way. She still has to see all of her former clients all the time, with all them knowing what happened to her. It would be very easy for her to give up in humiliation, slink off to some other town or state, and settle for less than God's destiny for her life. But she has chosen to get back up again, after being knocked flat, to continue on in God's promise for her life and ministry. I'm proud of her!

Courage is hard thing to wish for. Like patience, courage only comes from difficult circumstances that force you to act, even when your heart may be quaking and crying inside. Like the cowardly lion of The Wizard of Oz, wishing for courage doesn't make it appear automatically; it will probably be a scary moment, face to face with the Wicked Witch, one second away from certain death, that will produce courage.

Reading some notes by a friend (www.sammasteller.com) from a Christ for the Nations conference he attended, I found this wisdom:

COURAGE ESTABLISHES LEADERSHIP

As a leader, you have no idea what hangs in the balance of your decision to act courageously. The leader isn’t necessarily the first to identify an opportunity. The leader is the one who has the courage to seize it, initiate, to set things in motion, to move ahead.

A. DAVID’S leadership was established in an environment of uncertainty and fear. (1 Samuel 17:10-11) "Whenever there is fear, there is opportunity. Whenever there is great fear, there is great opportunity.”

B. David’s leadership was established through his courage, not his talent or his calling. Goliath's slaying did not make David a leader, but it marked him as one. The incident in the valley of Elah didn’t equip David to lead, but it certainly equated.

C. David was courageous, but he was not careless. There is a difference between acting courageously & carelessly. That difference is preparation. (1 Samuel 17:40)

D. David’s courage empowered others to act courageously. When David killed Goliath, there was an immediate reversal of momentum on the battlefield. (1 Samuel 17:51-52)-David, through one act of bravery, gave an entire army something they severely lacked: courage to engage the enemy.

Whether you are going through a hard time in life, like my good friend, or have a big decision to make, or are developing leadership in general, there is a lot to learn about courage and the way that God honors our courageous faith.

Motivation

2009-03-12T14:36:00.004-04:00

It is a standing joke that some members of my family are procrastinators. For Christmas I found a joke gift for my brother, a "To Don't" list, complete with categories like "to pass off," "to ignore," and my favorite, "to sabotage."

While we all had a good laugh (at the gift and the fact that my brother modeled his gift's red bow), the fact is that my brother is very organized. He is a visionary with very specific goals for the future.

I am goal-setter, too, always have been. I like the clarity of sitting down with a fresh list of things to do, how to accomplish a specific task, or maybe even all the things that need to change in order for me to facilitate my goals. Those lists and charts (I love Microsoft Excel!) help me feel more motivated to achieve my objectives.

I need all the motivation I can get some days.

Congratulations, Michelle!

2009-03-11T16:02:00.002-04:00

This week has been a busy one. I spent all day Monday on the phone dealing with my health insurance, and yesterday I spent filling out paperwork for a job application that was very intensive. I was trying to fax it today, but it wouldn't go through correctly, and I finally had to go to the church to fax it from there. I arrived a little while after the mail had come, and our church secretary Debra had sorted it on a side table. I figured I would leaf through one of the magazines, The Potomac Connection, while my fax was going through.

I was surprised to see a testimony printed in the back by my friend Michelle Keller, about the blessing of her son Joshua. She praised God for His answer to prayer for another child--11 years after her son Jacob. I have heard Mark and Michelle testify many times, and their thanksgiving to the Lord is neverending. I'm very proud of Michelle for writing this testimony in to the magazine, which serves as a communication for ministers and churches throughout the Potomac District (MD, VA, WV). It is a honor to have it shared with so many people, but the real honor is God's, who so wonderfully answered the desire of Michelle's heart.

All the Way to the Bottom

2009-03-10T14:22:00.002-04:00

We got coupons for Friendly's in the mail last week, and they were such a good bargain that we ended up taking my grandmother there two weeks in a row. Everyone's happy--from the youngest kid to the great-grandmother at the same table.

At Friendly's many dinners come with a free sundae: two scoops and one topping, plus the whipped cream and cherry. Very tempting! The waitress brings out the sundaes with special long spoons, designed to fit all the way to the bottom of the narrow glass, so you can get every last drop of that ice cream.

The French philosopher Blaise Pascal is attributed with the concept of a "God-shaped hole" in the soul of every person-- it other words, a profound need for God that is so deeply wired within us that nothing else will satisfy it.

"What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself. "

What does all this have to do with sundaes? I was thinking about the last spoonful of fudge down in the bottom of my dish last week, and about all the short spoons in the world that would never reach that fudge. Only a long spoon was able to reach that depth, and I finally got that last tasty bit. So many people try to compensate for their need for God, like kids grabbing up short spoons, only to be frustrated that they can never reach the bottom. They can't satisfy that need for God with other people, with their careers, their money or their self-reliance.

God created that need within us, and He is the only one with the spoon long enough to find the best part of us.

Roots and Spring

2009-03-09T11:00:00.002-04:00

For the past few days, I have enjoyed the warm breezes that indicate spring is just around the corner. Everyone digs out their short-sleeved shirts and sandals as if they are headed for vacation; the same sense of excitement and anticipation is in the air. Spring is certainly worthy of the attention we give it: a feeling of freshness, new beginnings, and life itself is defined in every bud on the trees and in every crocus pushing its way up through the earth.

I appreciate the look of flowers and manicured landscapes, but I have never been any kind of gardener. I like to see the daffodils come back each year in my mother's yard. We used to have tiger lilies, too, that you could depend on each summer, all along the steps to the driveway. It's a miracle to me that a root can lie dormant for months (even years!) and then suddenly burst forth into a new bloom.

I was thinking this morning about bitterness. I haven't been much of a grudge-holder in my life. Close friends and family would say that I am too good at expressing my frustration to bury it deep inside; and it's true that when it comes to anger, I'm not one to let the sun go down on my wrath. But what about pain? hurt feelings? being disappointed by someone?

Yesterday my brother preached on conflict in the church, and he said that too often we bury the hurt feelings instead of dealing with the situation. I suppose I have assumed that bitterness only came in one form--anger--and that bitterness would be like a blazing furnace rather than a cold, dormant root deep in frozen soil.

But Hebrews 12:15 clearly uses the word "root" to describe bitterness. Something happens to us that's so deep, so unarticulated, that it gets covered over and lies cold until something else adds a little heat and it blooms forth again, like perennials in the yard. Unfortunately, in the case of bitterness, the "flower" isn't attractive and welcome, it's ugly and dangerous.

The beginning of the verse contains the key: the grace of God. The only thing capable of completely destroying bitterness, root and all, is God's grace. As a wounded person, I conquer bitterness by extending God's grace to my offender. God extends His grace to me and restores me into a fulness of fellowship with Him as well, with nothing keeping me from experiencing every benefit of our relationship. And unlike an old, cold root, God's grace never stops blooming.

Snow Days

2009-03-03T17:08:00.002-05:00

Ahh! The perfect amount of snow for sledding and fun!

Mondays

2009-02-23T14:28:00.002-05:00

Most people hate Mondays. It's hard to get up early and get back to the work week grind, after a weekend that was probably busy and fun-filled. I can sympathize with those Monday yawns and mumbles, but I actually enjoy my Mondays these days. On Monday nights, I lead a group called The Right Fit at Pasadena AG church, and it's one of the fastest growing programs at the church. Just about every week we see new growth, either showing up at our doors or finding us on the website we're using to spread the word locally.

The Right Fit is a weight-loss support group, dedicated to providing accountability and encouragement to those who need help to get healthy. We've become a pretty tight group over the past six weeks, and I'm constantly encouraged by the participation of the group as a whole. Every week someone has something to share, from the cheapest place to buy granola bars to the great-tasting snacks they've brought to pass around. I'm very happy to be a part of a small group that really bears each other's burdens (while helping to reduce them a pound at a time!). We've seen some great progess in just six weeks, with several of our members losing 10 pounds or more. We're all doing a great job, and that's why I now look forward to Mondays!

And the Wait Goes On

2009-02-10T11:43:00.004-05:00

I live about half a mile off Ritchie Highway, one of the busiest thoroughfares in Anne Arundel County. Anytime I run errands, I inevitably find myself stopped at the intersection of Jumpers Hole Road and Ritchie Highway. That light, no matter which direction I'm going, is a long one. To sit there waiting for all the east-west traffic, all the left turns, and all the north-south traffic takes forever.

Since I'm not known for my patience, I've killed a lot of time at that light. I've changed CDs in the player, opened and sorted mail, flipped through magazines. I've watched other drivers, laughed at their nose-picking, sang loudly to 80's love songs on the radio. I've fought with my sister, talked on the phone, reached for things that fell in the backseat just out of my grasp. I've put on makeup, opened the sunroof, searched my purse for my bank card or receipts for stuff I'm returning to the store. I've danced to catchy pop tunes, given money to homeless people of questionable sanity, yelled at drivers making illegal turns, and honked at friends passing by. I've opened breakfast sandwiches from Dunkin' Donuts right there, opened packages I just bought, and opened my car door to pull my trailing skirt back in. If you totaled it up, I've spent untold hours of my life at that intersection waiting--just waiting for the light to turn green, allowing me to continue on my way.

In I Samuel 13, King Saul faced a long wait. At war with the Phillistines and hopelessly outmatched, he was told to wait seven days before Samuel would come to offer sacrifices and give counsel from the Lord on the impending battle. He waited seven days; in seven days, he watched the opposing army settle into battle formation and his own men scatter to hide in caves and thickets. He undoubtedly faced the fear of their opinions. What kind of leader waits seven days, while supplies and morale run low, for the man of God to come and give them the go-ahead? He grew angry at Samuel. I've already waited seven days and this guy still isn't here. Who needs him? What he does isn't that special; in fact, I bet I could do it myself. He didn't have confidence in God's faithfulness. It's obvious we're going to lose this fight. At least the rituals we do will ensure that we don't get totally slaughtered. Even after performing the offerings that were only for a prophet or priest to perform, Saul was totally unrepentant. It's their fault! The men are running away, Samuel waits til the last second to show up, and the Phillistines are preparing to attack! What differences does it make who does the offering? He couldn't wait a few more hours to obey the command of Samuel the prophet, and that cost him a kingdom.

Think about that the next time you're stuck at a long red light.

How I Spend my Days

2009-02-03T14:53:00.002-05:00

Since I'm unemployed, I have a lot more time on my hands. My mother babysits several children regularly, and I enjoy spending time with the kids. I take them outside in the snow; I eat lunch with them; I serve as mediator, entertainer, substitute, computer fixer, and more in a given day. Sometimes they drive me crazy, and I'm glad that I can come back up to my attic and escape the madness. Mostly, though, they give me a lot to appreciate. Here's a picture of just one of the joys of an average day.

The Layered Look

2009-01-29T16:29:00.002-05:00

With all this cold, I've found myself adapting a habit I had in Israel long ago--wearing layers. Long johns and sweatshirts, tights, jeans, and double socks. It gets chilly during the day in the room where I'm working, so I layer up to avoid the chill. Going outside requires layers to combat the extreme cold we've had lately, and playing in the snow on Tuesday really made me layer my clothes.

I'm reminded of the days when I could see my breath in my own bedroom in Jerusalem, and I'm thankful for the heat I've got here, even if I still have to overdress.

Snow Day

2009-01-27T14:33:00.001-05:00

Only an inch or so, but it's the first legitimate snow we've seen this year! Livvy is in the yard making snow angels (first she tried it face down, but that didn't work too well!)

It's not Business, It's Personal

2009-01-26T12:09:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting on this blog like I should. Some days I have nothing going on, and I feel like I have nothing to say. Then other days, I'm really busy and I just don't get to it. Either way, I'm sorry that I'm disappointing my faithful readers!

Last week I spent three days doing contact with my other church, Severn River Church, pastored by the greatest pastor in the world--my brother Ben. He asked me to help him collect surveys about the needs of our local community, and we set up our table at the community college in the Student Union. Wednesday was the first day of classes so it seemed like half of Anne Arundel county was on the campus, walking through the Student Union on the way to the bookstore and financial office. It was a prime spot for our table, but we didn't seem to catch anyone's attention. We only got 12 responses on Wednesday.

We were giving away a $50 gas card in a drawing each day, but we discovered that many of students hanging out in the Student Union do so because they don't drive and are stuck on campus all day. They bus or carpool or have Mommy drop them off each morning. We decided to go with a more "immediate gratification" incentive: a big bowl of candy. Thursday we got 49 surveys, so the candy was certainly a benefit. Friday we went all out and brought four dozen donuts, plus candy and the gas card drawing. That netted us a record of 90 surveys--the most SRC has ever received in one day in any area of the county we've surveyed.

We had a great response in general from the students who took the survey, but even more pleasing were the positive responses from the staff of the college, who complimented us repeatedly on the connection we seemed to be making with the students.

I think that churches can put money and other resources (staff, time, etc) in many areas of outreach, but the personal connection with people is always the best investment.

There was no joy in Mudville

2009-01-19T10:58:00.002-05:00

Last night, I watched a football game--from start to finish--for the first time in my life! In fact, I got into it; I cheered and groaned with the rest of Baltimore as the Ravens lost the AFC championship and their hope for another Superbowl appearance.

I wish the game had gone differently, for the Ravens, for the city of Baltimore, and for purely selfish reasons: one of my best friends has a family of major Steelers fans, and I was really hoping to make a little "nyah, nyah" phone call after the game. Now I'll have to endure their boasting instead.

Be Patient

2009-01-13T11:27:00.002-05:00

When I was a child, there was a popular children's musical called, "The Music Machine." Two children find a music machine that produces songs about the fruit of the Spirit. Long-suffering (or patience) was illustrated in song by a bass-voiced snail named Herbert.

Be patient, Be patient
Don't be in such a hurry.
When you get impatient,
You only start to worry.
Remember, Remember
That God is patient, too,
And think of all the times
That others had to wait for you!

Singing the song is easy, in fact, catchy. But living the song is much harder. I've been thinking about patience for the past week, because someone shared with me a word from the Lord that I needed to be patient. The Scripture says in James 1, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." The King James version says "patience" instead of perseverance, but the two concepts are closely related.

Paul agreed with James, because in Romans 5:3-5, he says "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

It's hard for me to hear someone else tell me to be patient. That's not the word from the Lord that I most want to hear, even though it's obviously what I most need to hear. I'm thankful that God knows my personality; He knows I need the exhortation or else I'll react foolishly to difficult situations. Of all the fruit of the Holy Spirit, patience is probably one of my weakest points.

All human wisdom is summed up in two words--wait and hope (Alexandre Dumas). For now, maintaining patience and hope is my goal.

Prayer for my Dad

2009-01-09T14:24:00.002-05:00

I would appreciate your prayers for my father over the next few days. He went in for scheduled surgery again this morning--the fifth time the doctors have tried to put in the permanent dialysis port. He is going to be on blood thinners over the next few days, since the doctors believe his blood clots too quickly to make the permanent ports usable.

By this time, he is most likely out of surgery, but I still hope that we can agree together for his continued healing in the name of Jesus!

Prayer

2009-01-08T15:22:00.002-05:00

Prayer is such a great way to start the New Year, and I've been pleased to participate in the prayer and fasting emphasis of PAG this week. I went to the District Day of Prayer on Tuesday, even though the weather was not very cooperative; we had a very good time of prayer and encouragement among the pastors and leaders that were there.

The District Day of Prayer is always one of my favorite days of the year. I like the purpose: to consecrate ourselves as ministers before the Lord here at the beginning of 2009, to receive a fresh vision for the work we do, and to renew ourselves in the Lord's presence together as a corporate body. We often have small group prayer at the camp, a time of personal reflection and prayer, a time of worship, and a time of proclaiming God's Word. It's a good way to get victory over the leftover mess of the previous year!

I also enjoy reconnecting with pastor and missionary friends that I haven't seen in a few months, and Tuesday was no exception. My brother and I carpooled, so we stopped at Sister Goggin-Bartles' cabin for a few minutes of blessing. She has been such a huge influence on my life, and I hope I've lived worthy of the counsel she's always given me.

Hungry?

2009-01-02T10:21:00.002-05:00

New Year's Day has now passed. It's time for many Americans to sweep through their fridge and cupboards, tossing all the candy, cookies, junkfood, and rich holiday treats. I heard yesterday that the two major resolutions made every year have to do with food and money. I don't think I've ever made a resolution about money (is that a good or bad thing?), but just about every year, I've committed to diet/exercise--at least for a few days!

I've been reading a great devotional book, Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole. I've mentioned it before, because I'm really fascinated by the truths the author presents and her writing style as she presents it.

This past week, I was studying the first temptation of Jesus in the desert. The devil appears when Jesus is at a point of starvation, forty days and night without food or water. He's literally dying for food. The devil tempts Jesus to turn stones into bread, a miracle almost insultingly simple for God in human flesh to perform.

According to Alicia Britt Chole, the temptation is one of appetite. I can remember in Israel, my boss Ross Byars, asking one night, "What is it you hunger for?" We all thought about it for a few seconds, and I can still remember very clearly what I thought of. Then he said, "Because that is where Satan will always attack you." Whether we hunger for food, money, sex, or power, the temptation of appetite will be to satisfy ourselves. It's a selfish response to a natural, human desire. Hunger isn't wrong; bypassing God to fix the problem ourselves is where we get into trouble. Our culture of immediate gratification is part of our sin problem, because we don't want to be God-dependent. Jesus would later pray, "Give us this day our daily bread," essentially putting God in the place of provider. He would illustrate birds and flowers in the field all patiently allowing God to feed and clothe them, but our human nature wants to run right out and satisfy ourselves with whatever we can get our hands on.

D oyou remember the Israelites in the desert--the same place where Jesus faced his temptation--whining about the onions and leeks they ate in Egypt. They were willing to trade their freedom to return to slavery just to have something different to eat. Appetite is a powerful thing. Hunger is a feeling, but feelings do not equal truth, in spite of what modern psychology tells us.

Jesus used truth to answer Satan. He didn't deny his hunger; he didn't deny his ability to transform stones into a smorgasbord. He simply put God in the place of provider. "God sustains me" is how Jesus responded, if I can paraphrase.

The Old Testament verse that Jesus quoted comes from a larger context: "Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you." (Deut. 8:2-5)

When you read the whole context, you can really appreciate why Jesus chose that passage. It's perfectly appropriate! It serves as another reminder that God is the ultimate Sustainer.

Rather than merely replacing the candy with Kashi this week, a good resolution would be to allow God to provide for us in His way, in His timing in 2009.

You Say You Wanna Resolution?

2008-12-31T15:10:00.004-05:00

Many people enjoy making New Year's resolutions, but I think far fewer actually keep them.

Here's some help for those of you who are really determined this year:

http://www.wikihow.com/Form-a-Good-Habit This site gives some practical advice on forming good habits.

http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/gallery/0,21863,1541498,00.html This is a great article on breaking bad habits, specifically 11 bad habits like nail-biting, procrastination, whining, gossiping, always running late, disorganization, and more. It's great, and I'm already using the tip for breaking my habit of slouching.

http://healthymonday.org/ This site is a national non-profit health organization that offers weekly tips to make yourself more healthy. When the website opens, click on the "thumbs up" image to get into the main site. For some of us, these little tips can really make a difference.

I'm thinking of a new project as my New Year's Resolution. It's called Project 365, and basically, it's a photojournal of an entire year. In Creating Keepsakes, a scrapbooking magazine I enjoy, there is a sample of the project, which I found very interesting. Keeping one photo for each day of the year, along with a paragraph of explanation, would add up to a great way to remember a year in your life. Along the way there would be great memories of perhaps days on vacation or special celebrations, but there would also be a record of some of life's more mundane things that you might easily forget. Either way, at the end you would a unique photo album. I haven't totally commited to this yet, but I think I want to try this out, as a twist on the more common "resolutions."

For those who wonder. . . . .

2008-12-30T14:39:00.003-05:00

Today I recieved an email from a contact at one of the churches that hosted me sometime in the last year.

I'm using it as a dicussion starter for today's blog post. I realize that some of the people who read this blog are all over the world and in almost 20 States in this country. Although some of you may not have heard my latest news, the word is spreading, as is evidenced by this email:

I had heard that you have left the mission field. I am writing to ask if you had returned to Israel and your reason for leaving the mission field? If you do not wish to share this information with me, I understand. Just know that you are still in my prayers. God Bless.

It's not the only feedback I've had lately. I've been messaged on facebook, called by friends, and had my immediate family approached by other people who are concerned about me.

I resigned from AGWM in November. It was my choice to resign, but it was the Spirit who lead me to make that decision. While people often question the "real" reason that I resigned, there is only ONE reason--that the Lord said it was time to do so.

For the past few months I had been feeling that God was going to take me in a different direction. It bothered me for weeks. I went through a struggle of not being sure it was truly God's voice I was hearing. I didn't want to mistake my own thoughts for God's; neither did I want to be tempted away from God's will by the Enemy. I fasted; I prayed. I tested and questioned the feeling I had for a long time. To my own shame, I admit that, for a while, I was too afraid of other people's reactions to talk to anyone about this matter. I regret now that I didn't have enough faith in the people of God, because I really needed counsel. I was able to talk to my immediate family and my pastor, but other than that, I was afraid.

I went to Phoenix for a conference on women in ministry, and I was desperate to hear from God. I'd been very troubled during the week leading up the conference, and I confessed to my Pastor the day I left for Arizona that I was determined to come home from Phoenix with an answer one way or another.

There is a great worship song called, He knows My Name, and it's one of my favorites. God is a personal God, who collects our tears and numbers the hairs of our head, according to the Psalms. When I was in Phoenix, God knew what I needed, starting with a big slap upside the head. The very first speaker at the conferene challenged us to move on to the new thing God was promising us, to stop cowering in fear of other people's expectations, and to step out in faith to see the fulfillment of His plan for us. I felt so convicted, it was as if she was speaking directly to me. Throughout the rest of the weekend, God was working in my heart. On Friday, October 31, as the rest of the nation begged candy in costumes, I was at an altar with 300 women crying out to God, and God answered. I knew that the time had come for me to resign from my missionary career because God was calling me to something new, something different, something that would make me grow further into His ultimate design for me.

I use the word resign purposefully. I have not, nor will I ever, quit. I haven't quit loving the lost, whether they live in Palestine, Israel, or Anne Arundel County. I haven't quit doing the work of the Lord. I haven't quit the ministry or the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I haven't quit Jesus or my belief in His Gospel. I have merely changed geographic location.

There's no scandal, no deeper story. There's no failure on God's part--He provided the support I needed to go back on the field, and He opened doors for me during my entire itineration. With the exception of my foolish fears, I haven't failed either. I served faithfully in missions for twelve years, nine of them on the foreign field. I never lost my faith, my sanity, or my passport.

I appreciate the prayers of my family--those related by blood and those of the bond in Christ. I still need the Lord to complete the work He's doing in my life. I don't have all the answers, but that's okay. Walking in faith, not by sight, is the only exercise I'm getting these days!

Happy Holidays

2008-12-29T14:36:00.002-05:00

I know that this blog hasn't been updated in well over a week, but the holidays are keeping me busy, as I'm sure you understand.

Today I'm headed to Upper Marlboro to see extended family up from Down South. The merriment of the holiday season continues . . . .

Keep checking in, and I'll have something worth reading tomorrow!

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

2008-12-19T09:37:00.002-05:00

Every year at Christmas, the Toys R Us marketing crew re-releases their iconic "I don't wanna grow up; I'm a Toys R Us kid" commercial, just in time for all the holiday shopping. I can remember when the original commercial came out with its catchy lyrics, and I suppose that's part of the marketing campaign. Most people my age have small children of their own now to shop for.

The concept of eternal youth is one that has been around for centuries, probably even longer than that. At some point, even Adam and Eve realized they had wrinkles, gray hair, and age spots. The futile search for youth spurred explorers like Ponce De Leon to the New World, to Florida specifically (where apparently the elderly are still searching). The British author JM Barrie captured the hearts of young and old alike with his classic tale of Peter Pan who gave up the reality of love and family to remain young forever in a fantasy world.

I've been thinking about this a little more in the past few weeks, because my grandmother has developed a habit of warning me, "When you're 80 years old," with a string of rotating predictions, none of which are enjoyable to contemplate. According to her, I'll be bald, deaf, riddled with arthritis, forgetful, and grouchy--well, that last one might just be her. Every time she starts her warning phrase, I have the overwhelming urge to deny any of that will ever happen to me. Sometimes I argue with her, "When I'm 80, I'll buy hearing aids. I'll use the medicine the doctor gives me. I won't annoy my grandchildren with all my bellyaching!"

But, old age has curses beyond just physical ailments. My grandmother has outlived her parents, her husband, and all but one sister, and Christmas often brings up a painful melancholy. When I drive her around town doing errands on Friday mornings, she talks about how she sits in her empty house making lists of all the dead people she remembers this Christmas. She bemoans how bad the holidays will be now that all of these people have gone, without seeming to appreciate her daughter, grandchildren, or the three great-grandchildren that have brought so much joy to the rest of us.

I try to sympathize with her lonely situation, but I can't help but think if this is the "merry" Christmas that she spreads to everyone else, I don't want to get any older.

My Eyes are Crossing

2008-12-17T11:08:00.002-05:00

I'm deep into this Ministry Manual project that I'm working on for my church. I spend hours every day reading and re-reading the current policies of the church, fixing typos and eliminating redundant or poorly written sections. I delete sections that don't apply to our current situation, and I write in new sections that need to be added. After a while, my brain gets sort of fried and my eyes get tired of the computer screen, so I try to give myself breaks to get a drink or chat with Debra in the main office for a minute or two.

Today I'm starting to worry about myself. I'm working on a section that I am positive I rewrote two weeks ago. I keep finding more paragraphs that I'm certain I rephrased and retitled, but there is no record in my computer of me having done it. I guess it could be a deja-vu moment, but it's startling clear in my mind--even having used the "find and replace" tool on one section. But today that whole section is the same as it was the first time I looked at it. Weird.

Maybe I just dreamed having made all those changes.

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2008-12-16T14:43:00.004-05:00

You know where the Christmas season is the most obvious? The post office!

In the past few weeks, I've had the occasion to visit three different post offices, in the course of my personal errands, only to find long lines at each one. I've become accustomed to using the automated "self-service" machines for packages and other quick needs. In fact, I'm so used to them that when I walked into a smaller, older post office today and found that they didn't have one, I debated whether I should just walk back out and find a better post office.

There were only five people waiting, so I decided to stick it out in line, even though I only wanted holiday stamps. All of the people in front of me bore packages of varying sizes and decor. Some were Christmas wrapped; others were old boxes from amazon.com with marker scribbled over all the old bar codes and shipping labels. One man was with his pre-teen son, who was clearly bored and unable to stand in line for more than a few minutes. He darted around looking at the demonstration models of boxes and envelopes, then perused the stamps on display in glass cases.

Finally, the man was called to the next teller, and I saw why the son was there. Over in a corner was a five-foot high mound of brown-paper wrapped boxes; between the two of them making a couple of trips each, they got it all over to the counter. The teller weighed and stamped each one before handing the man a receipt that could have rivaled Santa's "nice and naughty list" for length.

Just as I was next up in line, the available teller hollered out over what had become a large crowd, "Anyone buying just stamps?"

"Yeah, me!" I yelled back, making everyone in line laugh, since I was next up anyway. It only took a few minutes to pick out and purchase my holiday-themed stamps, and then I was headed out, past about fourteen people with their arms loaded with boxes. They stretched around the line dividers and out the door into the lobby of the building, and in the parking lot more cars were pulling in.

Ahh, the Christmas season.

Christmas Music

2008-12-11T14:58:00.003-05:00

I love this time of year. One of the best parts is the music. In every store and in many homes, there is Christmas music playing in the background. There are silly songs about getting "Nuttin for Christmas" and grandparents being run over by reindeer; there are songs of breath-taking beauty like "O Holy Night" and "The Carol of the Bells." There are local favorites about eating crabs at Christmas, and there are the classic party favorites like "Jingle Bell Rock." There are pretty religious songs and rowdy secular songs.

What's your favorite Christmas song?

God Heals

2008-12-08T14:49:00.003-05:00

In the Bible, people gave praise to the Lord by dancing, clapping, raising their hands, shouting, and making sacrifices. In today's modern, techological era, I'm praising God by blogging and Facebook twitter.

I'm thanking God that my father is recovering from his kidney failure. We'll probably get further news tomorrow at the dialysis report, but today my father saw his doctor and found his kidney numbers had decreased drastically!

He's been feeling more and more healthy, a sign we felt sure indicated that he was healing. He's had more strength lately and even looks healthy again. I know that God is at work in his body, and I give God the praise now for the final report I believe is coming soon!

Reduce - Reuse - Recycle

2008-12-04T14:17:00.002-05:00

December 4 – When I was a child, my mother always bought us advent calendars, which covered the traditional 25 days of “advent.” In most children’s advent calendars, little windows open with cute pictures hidden behind, and something there is a little piece of chocolate or treats of that nature. Obviously, a calendar like that would build any child’s excitement and anticipation of the Christmas season.

A friend of mine from France recently sent me an email including a link to an online advent calendar –something that could be bookmarked as “favorite” site. The advent calendar online is not for children; it is based on a theme of ecology and wise stewardship of our earth that God has given us. It is scripture based and extremely practical.I realize that not everyone has jumped on the bandwagon of ecological conscience, but it is growing in popularity in our culture. For those of you who are interested in 25 practical ways to protect our environment, I’m adding the link here.

Thought for the Day

2008-12-03T13:36:00.002-05:00

I'm reading a great book called Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years and yours by Alicia Britt Chole (soon to be reviewed on my book review page), but I'm swept away by her writing. She makes utterly profound statements in a simple way.

Today, I contemplating this:

"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17)

". . . the first time Jesus heard these words thundered from the heavens, God spoke them before Jesus had ever done anything for which we call him Savior.

God sounded his affirmation from above over Jesus' life before Jesus ever preached one sermon or enlightened one mind, before Jesus ever healed one body or saved one soul.

These loving words were spoken over Jesus before the timeless teachings, the dramatic deliverances, and the many miracles. They were spoken over his hidden years. God declared his full acceptance and pride over what Jesus had become through his anonymous season. In unseen places, over underestimated years, Jesus had been making unrecorded, unapplauded choices that had prepared him for everything to come. And Father God--who values the seen and unseen alike--was very, very pleased.

. . .God is still shouting these words of love over his children even before we are recognized or celebrated, before we make the grade or make the news or even make dinner. Before we get that promotion or even get out of bed, Father God is already shouting. Not because of any stunning accomplishment but because of who we are: through Jesus, we are his!"

Pretty good, right?

The Song in my Head

2008-12-03T10:58:00.002-05:00

For the past few days, I've been singing, "All Who Are Thirsty," from my Wow Worship cd. I looked it up online and found it here

Now you can have it in your head, too. Great song!

Trust

2008-12-02T14:10:00.005-05:00

I have oftened marveled at people who do not know or trust Christ. I wonder how they live, how they handle stress and difficulty; mostly I wonder where they place their trust. I made a list the other day of all the possible areas in which someone might stake their confidence:

in their job or career
in their marriage
in their family members
in their bank account
in their home
in their political party

It came to me very dramatically that part of the "crisis" that our nation is facing is not just the collapse of the stock market or the downtrend of our economy, but it is the crumbling away of what people thought was rock solid. Part of the misery of people all around us is that they placed their trust in things that failed. Just look at the divorce rates that continue to rise each year; in our society, love is not even trustworthy.

We often use the word "lost" to describe those who haven't found the peace of Jesus Christ. and it's true: they are "lost" without the Rock that never fails, never collapses, never forecloses, lays off, walks out, or disappoints.

It's not a new problem. It may look different in the 21st century, but even David thought about this problem, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." (Ps. 20:7) Nowadays, it might be car insurance commericials that throw the word
"trust" around like so much confetti, but it is only Christ that is worthy of our trust.

Here a meeting, There a meeting, Everywhere a meeting, meeting

2008-12-01T14:55:00.002-05:00

My niece Olivia loves to sing "Old McDonald had a Farm" with unending verses of animals and all the energetic sounds they make. Today I was looking at my schedule for the week and it's full of meetings. I've had one already this morning and more to come throughout the week. I like the productive feeling I have at the end of the meetings. I like the progress I see in each step of the project I'm doing for the church, and it seems that the ministries of the church will benefit from the profound analysis we're doing in these meetings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T13:46:00.002-05:00

"The person who has stopped being thankful has fallen asleep in life." Robert Louis Stevenson

I'll be away for the next two days celebrating my favorite holiday with some of my favorite people, my extended family in Pennsylvania. Here's a little poem to think about as you dine tomorrow:

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

(I found this on another blog site. It is NOT my original work.)

Podcasts

2008-11-25T15:57:00.002-05:00

Nowadays there are so many podcasts available, and I've got several subscriptions that update automatically on my Itunes. Techonology is wonderful, and I'm glad that other people make it easy on me to get their podcasts, but I find that I'm always behind on listening to them. As many as 9 or 10 build up on my ipod before I get around to focusing on the message they present.

Today in the church office, I had some typing and computer work to do, so I started going through my podcast folder and listening to one after another. One of the main podcasts I like is "Staying in Touch" which is put out for ministers of the Potomac District. I realized today though, that I must be "out of touch" since I hadn't listened to that podcast since April!

Facebook

2008-11-24T11:20:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I turned 35 and was wished "Happy Birthday" from people I haven't heard from in years, from countries all around the world. All of that came about from the phenomenon called Facebook.

I joined Facebook about a year ago, and I have been very pleased with the connection I've made with long-lost college friends, former students from Israel, and people I've never met but have something in common with me. It's a great tool for social networking, and I've recommended it repeatedly to people that want to network or connect with other people through the internet.

We were discussing it recently at a family gathering. All of us were remarking on what we like best about Facebook (finding old friends), what we don't like (getting notifications about stupid stuff), and why everyone should use it.

Some churches are already using their own social networking site for their individual church, a Facebook facsimile for Pasadena Assembly of God, for example. People could network in groups for their individual ministries, and announcements like, "Fine Arts practice is moved to Tuesday night" could just be added to the group page. I can see why people would want to use a tool such as Facebook. I mentioned that I had heard recently about a "Christian" Facebook alternative.

My question was, "Why do we need a Christian alternative?" It seems like we reinvent whatever wheel is popular and useful, with a Christian spin. In my humble opinion, I think that most often it is done to protect ourselves from the world. We prefer to connect or network with other people just like ourselves. I have to wonder, if Jesus were on the Internet, which social networking site would He use?

First Snow

2008-11-21T10:47:00.004-05:00

This morning just as I was headed out of the house to take my grandmother to her weekly hair appointment the heavens opened up their storehouses of snow.

It was really beautiful to drive down route 100 in all that snow, even though I knew it wouldn't last 15 minutes. It makes me happy to think of the coming winter, however mild it may be.

This photograph was taken in 1902, of Vermont snowflakes under a microscope. Amazing.

Safe

2008-11-19T10:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I attended a pastor's meeting, and then drove to Gainesville, VA for a meeting in the District Office. It's been awhile since I've driven the Capitol Beltway to northern Virginia, and I can't say I've missed that drive! Yesterday I was amazed again by the recklessness of the drivers. I consider it a minor miracle to survive the commute to Gainesville and back.

I witnessed an accident yesterday that occured right in front of me. Two cars merged simultaneously into one lane--and into each other--at 60 miles per hour. I was sure that I was about to be sandwiched into a ten-car pile-up because of the heavy traffic and high speeds. I braced for impact, but God really protected me and the others near me. The two cars bounced right back into their respective lanes, with the velocity of the impact. The bumper was dragging on one, and the rear was all smashed up on the other, but they managed to get control of their cars. After a minute, they moved off to the shoulder, and the rest of us drove away. I was so thankful that God kept me safe!

Long Hours

2008-11-19T10:11:00.003-05:00

For the next six weeks, I'm acting as a ministry consult to my home church in Pasadena, MD. My pastor needs some help with a few specific projects, and I am hoping to help clear a few things off his to-do list.

It's been fun to have "work" hours again, after so many months of working out of my home office, namely my bedroom. I like having an environment that is conducive to work, and I enjoy seeing other people pass by the church office. So far, I'm in up to my elbows in the first project, and it's going well, I think.

I'm finding my schedule suddenly filled with appointments, and my week is booked through the weekend. But I like it that way.

Contentment

2008-11-17T11:32:00.002-05:00

It seems like you can't turn on the television or open a newspaper these days without facing dire predictions of the economic collapse of our country. All day long I hear people talking, using expressions like "in this economy" while they discuss their employment or financial situation. Sadly, I don't know that we're going to face any improvement soon.

Probably the most natural reaction to this type of recession is to cut spending. I got to thinking the other day about things I could eliminate from my list of bills: cancel magazine subscriptions, change habits of eating out, stop drinking Coke Zero, etc. Its the quickest "fix" to regain control of our finances.

But then I thought about "contentment." I think it's easier to cut spending than to learn to be content with what I have. One is an action, and the other is an attitude. Someone can stop getting their Starbucks everyday, because they determine it's necessary. But their attitude may still be poor about it; they might even grumble to themselves, "As soon as I have more money, I'm going straight back to getting my morning Frappucino!" They haven't come to a place where they are content without it.

I struggle with how Paul was able to say, " I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

I read this poem recently by Fanny Crosby called "Resolve"

O what a happy soul am I!
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world
Contented I will be;
How many blessings I enjoy
That other people don't!
To weep and sigh because I'm blind,
I cannot, and I won't.

I admire the attitude that this poem represents. Contentment is a choice.

Some Thoughts for the Weekend

2008-11-15T19:37:00.002-05:00

Late Thursday night I saw the movie, "The Secret Life of Bees," with my sister's book club who had recently selected the book for their monthly discussion. Without giving away the plot or giving a recommendation, the film tells the story of a 14 year old girl, who grows up feeling that she is unloved, unwanted, and causes tragedy wherever she goes. I was thinking of how much the young girl's pain seemed to resonate with the audience, and I was reminded of a quote that I recently read.

"It is easy to think of the poverty far away and forget very quickly. Today a great disease is that feeling of terrible loneliness, the feeling of being unwanted, having forgotten what human joy is, what the human feeling is of being wanted or loved. I think this is found in very well-to-do families also.

We may not have people hungry for a plate of rice or for a piece of bread in New York City, but there is a tremendous hunger and a tremendous feeling of unwantedness everywhere. And that is really a very great poverty." --Mother Theresa

Gifted to Lead

2008-11-14T16:42:00.003-05:00

While I was at the conference, one of the seminar presenters mentioned a book that I picked up from an exhibitor's booth on sale. I read it on the plane back to Maryland, and I've added the review here.

Network for Women in Ministry Conference

2008-11-13T17:00:00.002-05:00

I've mentioned my trip to Phoenix, but I'd like to write about some of the seminars that most influenced me while I was there. I'm never able to write this all out when I first come back; I need time to process out what most influenced me and why. I even need time to realize the applications for my own life that I find in someone else's story.

The conference was called "Conversations '08" --a title that helped to facilitate the objective of the conference: to network with other people who share your goals for ministry, perhaps your specifc type of ministry, or even your "style" of ministry. Women network best by talking, and the conference allowed for a lot of interaction. We had a couple of interactive sessions each day, in which a speaker would present their experience in ministry focusing on one topic (conflict, disappointment, mistakes, etc) and then we would discuss that topic and our own experiences at our tables. It made for a lot of personal communication, and we were able to connect with one another on deep levels.

The first session was the testimony of a pastor's wife who left a cushy mega-church for a rat-infested inner-city church of Miami. She hated it, and her teenage sons were revolting against their father's decision to uproot them from yuppie Washington state to poverty-stricken, drug-infested Miami. One day she saw an ad in the newspaper that mentioned a deadline for grant applications; federal funding was available for programs that would aid those in "need." Almost on a whim, she applied for money to start a summer day-camp program for the kids in their neighborhood. She won $175,000 from that first grant proposal to start the camp, and hundreds of kids attended that summer! Ten years later, their organization Peacemakers has over a thousand kids in after-school programs that are totally federally funded, and their church is able to evangelize through all of it.

She spoke on the subject of fear. She challenged us to be ready to take the plunge into a greater ministry, rather than being sidelined by either fear of failure or fear of other people's opinions. Using Deut. 27:2-5 as her text, she reminded us that only in stepping into the Jordan did the Israelites put "feet to their faith" that God was leading them to the Promised Land. She reminded us that God is not moved by NEED, but by FAITH.

Her question to all of us that day was poignant: What keeps you from doing what God has for you?

Typical Friday

2008-11-07T22:46:00.001-05:00

Fridays are typically my least productive day. On Fridays, my grandmother, who suffers from dementia, gets her hair set into the classic “football helmet” style favored by octogenarians. I usually take her to the hairdresser’s in the morning, and an hour later, one of women in my family picks her up. Our habit is to take her to lunch afterward; other than church, this is the only social life she has, now that her mind is deteriorating.

Every Friday we debate the lunch options. The restaurant has to service my mother, my grandmother, my sister, her two-year old daughter, the 3 month old that my mother babysits, and me if I’m around. It’s challenging to find a kid-friendly, reasonably-priced place with a menu that suits everyone’s palate. After lunch, we run errands—often for groceries my grandmother needs—before we end up back at home in the afternoon.

Today was particularly long. Granny had to be at her hairdresser’s an hour and half earlier than usual. She got the “works” today, so we were later than usual heading to lunch. We decided to go to Columbia, which added 30 minutes to the commute. Lunch was great, as long as we didn’t mention any of the subjects guaranteed to get Granny “started.” There are certain subjects that she can’t handle mentally anymore, and she’ll ask the same questions over and over and over. She just can’t comprehend the answer. We managed to talk about old vacations and our travels to unique places, which got her laughing and reminiscing a bit.

We went to JoAnn Fabrics, where my sister wanted to get some craft materials for a craft show she’s entering. Olivia, my niece, gets bored easily in place like JoAnn Fabrics. There are dozens of things to attract her attention, but nothing that she can really play with, without knocking over home decorations or bolts of fabric. The baby was starting to get hungry and fussed until her cries became full-blown wails, and I was trying to distract her by moving the shopping cart back and forth. My grandmother wandered slowly around the store, always an aisle or two behind us, so we had to constantly stop and call for her to catch up. Then there were potty breaks for the toddler who’s being toilet-trained, and the long line at the cutting table to wait through. Everyone was already feeling frazzled and frustrated when Olivia hurt herself on a shopping cart; her grandmother had to take her red-faced and screaming to the bathroom yet again to check for bleeding. We managed to get all the children and senior citizens out of the store and loaded back into the car by 4:00 pm, and they all took a nap on the way home.

I need a nap. . . .

Prayer Request

2008-11-04T13:06:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I received a letter from one of my supporters requesting prayer for this little girl, Marlow Lucht, his great niece. She was born on September 7, 2007 with such hearing loss that she requires a small hearing aid. Just recently, the doctors discovered she is also blind. In doing more tests, they diagnosed her with "Peroxisomal Disorder" in which brain cells do not work with other brain cells. Their prognosis: she will not live to see her second birthday.

Stephen wrote to ask me to pray for her, because he is asking for a big miracle. "I want one day for Marlow to stand in a church and say, 'Because of our Lord, I lived to be an adult. I can now hear. I can now see, and I am truly a miracle of the hand of God'." Please add Marlow to your prayer list and storm heaven for this child!

The Gospel According to Starbucks

2008-11-03T11:46:00.001-05:00

My latest book review (The Gospel According to Starbucks: Living Life with a Grande Passion by Leonard Sweet) is up here.

The Wyndham Hotel Stalker

2008-10-30T14:34:00.003-04:00

Last night, by the time I arrived in my room, it was nearly midnight East Coast time. I was tired from the flight and stress of hauling luggage through airports, but there was a long line of women checking in at the hotel front desk. I waited about 20 minutes, and received my room key for a room on the 15th floor. I schlepped my heavy bags through the massive lobby, into the elevators, and down the long hallway to my room, only to discover that there was a mistake: it was a king bed, and I’m supposed to be sharing the room with two other women.

I schlepped all the stuff back downstairs to resolve the mix-up. The solution: keep the room for just one night, since my roommates weren’t arriving until the next morning anyway. I was annoyed, but seduced by the “reduced rate” they offered for my inconvenience. So I schlepped by bags back up to the 15th floor.

I noticed that I had an “adjoining room” and on the other side of the interior door, I could hear three women laughing and talking as clearly as if they were in my room with me. It also took me only a few moments to realize that the air conditioning wasn’t working in my room. I really didn’t want to go back down to the front desk (or haul my stuff to another room). I kept fooling with the thermostat, while listening to the women next store talk about the Phillies. I realized that they were also here for the conference—every woman I’ve seen so far in this hotel is here for the same conference—so as I finally got frustrated with my thermostat, I thought maybe I could just ask them if their adjoining room had any problems with the AC.

I stepped out to the hall and knocked on their door. The noise in their room stopped instantly, but no one answered. I knocked again, and this time they came to the door to look at me through the peephole. They had a quick discussion as to why I would knock on the door, did any of them know me, should they open the door, etc. I could hear EVERY WORD. So I spoke loudly, “I’m in the room next door, and I’m having problems with the AC. I was wondering if you knew what the secret is to the thermostat.” I smiled with great charm at the peephole, but they refused to open the door.

I gave them the benefit of the doubt; I suppose it would be weird to open the door to a stranger, but I don’t think I look threatening, certainly nothing like any serial killer or “wanted” poster, but they had the right to ignore the door. I called their room number on the phone, figuring that was not as “in-your-face” as the door. The phone rang once, and someone picked up the line, then slammed it down into the cradle.

For some reason, that struck me as being an over-reaction. Were we suddenly in a teeny-bopper horror film? All I wanted was a little help, and I following normal social etiquette to ask for it. I gave up on them, hoping they wouldn’t complain to the hotel or ask to switch rooms. I finally figured out the thermostat and went to bed, while they continued their conversation in whispers that I could still hear.

Phoenix

2008-10-29T23:46:00.002-04:00

After a 4.5 hour flight, I'm in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm totally excited about the Women in Ministry Conference which starts tomorrow afternoon. I was looking forward to the heat of the southwest after the windy chills in Baltimore, but it was 90 degrees when I landed tonight, and I started sweating right away. How quickly we can forget how "hot" feels. I was also hoping to breathe freely here, having heard for years how arid climates are so much better for asthmatics, but my seatmate on the plane informed me that Phoenix is very polluted and asthma is terrible here. Oh well. At least the hotel is really fancy; there is a Starbucks in the lobby which I plan to visit tomorrow.

Did you know that US Airways now charges for your luggage? I learned that today at check-in for my flight. They also charged for food, drink, and headsets. What's next? Charging people to use the plane bathroom?

Here's some irony for you: my taxi driver to the hotel was a Palestinian born in Jerusalem. What are the chances?

Homecoming

2008-10-28T11:40:00.002-04:00

This past weekend, I went back to Valley Forge for Homecoming weekend. I've never been before, so I was really looking forward to it. I thought that I would have the occasion to see old college friends, and in fact, I did run into some buddies. I saw my favorite professor, now retired, who still supports my ministry each year. I talked to my cousins who are sophomores, and teased them about over-cutting chapel. I devoured my turkey grinder (previously mentioned in this blog many times). I heard about some possible missionary support from a few churches in Pennsylvania, and I watched a basketball game in the gym where I used to keep statistics for the Patriots team.

All in all, it was a very productive and enjoyable trip.

While I was there, I ruminated a bit on the difference between the Valley Forge Christian College that I went to and the college that it has become today. It's not the same school; the campus boasts state-of-the-art buildings and is now beautifully landscaped (no more condemned or collapsing buildings). There are probably three times as many majors offered now, as well as new master's programs. The sports program has expanded its status, which draws even more talented athletes. The president of the college has built an exemplary network of support for the school, resulting in improvements in every area.

In all those upgrades, the school has also changed somewhat in spirit. When I started as a freshman, the faculty all lived right on campus and formed intense bonds with students. As the school has expanded, the faculty lives elsewhere; the bonds may not be quite so easy to achieve. There were only approximately 600 students in my day, and everyone knew each other; the majors were all concentrated on various types of Christian ministry, so we were bonded to each other as well. On the run-down campus, with all its old government-issue furniture and days where the water was shut off and the overpowering heat in the dorm rooms, there was a powerful connection between the students, perhaps like a boot camp mentality, that no matter how bad things were, we were in it together and we had a unified purpose. We claimed the motto, "You gotta be called to be here," and joked that Valley Forge would prepare us for the missionfield.

While that intimacy may be gone, I still believe in Valley Forge Christian College. When I'm on campus, I see young people who are passionate about serving God, and I see professors who have sacrificed greater careers to mold the next generation of ministers, and I see an administration, headed by Dr. Meyer, that consistently raises the standard of the educational quality and the academic reputation of the school.

I am proud of the college I went to, and the college it has become.

Firing Squad

2008-10-24T16:49:00.003-04:00

Here in the Philadelphia area, the submarine sandwich is an art form. This is the city known for the Philly Cheeseteak sandwich, after all. All pizza places have just an extensive menu for their "hoagies" and "grinders" as they do for their pizza selections.

Today I indulged in one of my all time favorite meals, and I decided if I were to go before a firing squad, and I were given my choice of "last meals," I would choose this: a large turkey "grinder" from Bob's Haven Deli, located conveniently across the street from my alma mater, Valley Forge Christian College. And I would enjoy every last bite and die happy!

Back in Town

2008-10-23T12:11:00.002-04:00

Believe it or not, I try to post regularly on this site. Unfortunately, I don't always have the ability to connect to the internet on my travels. I was in West Virginia this past weekend, and I just wasn't able to update the blog. I got back home yesterday, and I'm headed out of town again in a few hours.

I got the chance to do a ladies fellowship on Tuesday night, and while I was in the area, I arranged a service on Sunday night at a church where I'd never been. I like to tease my West Viriginia friends about being out in the backwoods, but truly, I love that area. I've found that the people respond very freely to the Lord in those churches. This weekend was just further proof of that.

The ladies fellowship had a topic: Being Overwhelmed--something a lot of wives and mothers probably feel at times. When I was preparing for the service, I really felt that God was leading me to share about my depression in France. It's not a subject I enjoy talking about, but I know that many people face depression and feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit it.

From the first few minutes of the message, I could see the women already reacting to the things I was saying. During the altar time, many women came forward for prayer, and I was thrilled to pray for them. Afterward, even more women came to talk to me personally about their struggles with depression and how much they identified with what I shared. I think the Lord gave many women there strength and victory over their unhappiness.

Just Can't Shake It

2008-10-18T18:04:00.002-04:00

I've been sick with a head cold for days now. Earlier this week, I could barely string thoughts together because I had such a sinus headache. Thankfully, I feel much better now, but I still have a sore throat and some sinus congestion. I've got to preach tomorrow and Tuesday night, so I'm really hoping I'll be back to full-strength by then. In the meantime, I just keep drinking tea and popping vitamin C.

Pray for me.

That Teddy Roosevelt!

2008-10-16T19:11:00.001-04:00

"Women have no earthly business to go out as missionaries into these wild countries!" --President Theodore Roosevelt