My latest book recommendation: A Church Called Tov. Be warned. This one isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s heart-breaking and far, FAR too real in the 21st century.

“Influence” is a word that is overused in today’s culture. We describe people as “influencers” because they have an amount of followers on social media, which presumes that they have an impact on the opinions or actions of others.

Measuring by that standard, we can be fooled into believing that we are not influential if we don’t have a massive following. Yet, this thinking is flawed, as the quote illustrates. We often have no idea of the true, lasting influence on others that we wield every day.

After the disaster that was 2020, everyone was hoping for a better year in 2021. Unfortunately, the year wasn’t the success I was expected. Early in the year, I began to face ministry pressures that were different from anything I’d faced before. Throughout the year, that pattern continued. Every time we’d weather another challenge, just as everything would stabilize, another tsunami of stress would wave over us again. Instead of calming down, the year grew harder and harder, culminating in December with some serious issues to resolve. But in the fiery furnace of those experiences, I learned who walks by my side through the blaze.

Most of my friends are posting photos of their children on the first day of school this week, and cuteness overloads my entire social media feed, as I scroll through these bright smiles and overloaded backpacks. It’s a little less cute for the mature adult who decides to go back to school, but probably just as emotional and overwhelming. Maybe even more so.

Four months ago, I started my doctorate. It’s been a few years in the planning and process. But I just couldn’t seem to start.

Recently in a conversation with my brother, we discussed the number of ministers that have left ministry over the last year or so. It feels like the stresses of the past 18 months have taken their toll on many ministers: uncertainty, constant changes and confusion, and even criticism from within the local body. It’s been an extreme challenge for me, for sure. I’ve seen burnout in my team and in myself. Sometimes I feel like the power of certain books is WHEN you read them; reading this book while struggling with exhaustion felt like a confirmation of everything I needed to hear from the Lord.

Here in Madrid, the metro plays a recording over and over on a loop, reminding you that some stations are on a curve, so be careful of the gap between the metro car and the platform as you step out. I've heard it thousands of times; I think I could recite that sentence in Spanish in my sleep!

Recently I read something that began, "Is there a gap between where you are and where you want to be?"

It stood out to me for two reasons: one, because I hear that line about the gap repeatedly and two, because, let's face it... who doesn't have a gap right now between what we're actually doing and what we want to be doing? Of course there's a gap between where things are right now and where I want them to be!

Many years ago I was part of a private workshop that Dick Brogden presented to a group of global workers. Someone asked about maintaining a work-life balance in the rigors of the work that we do across the world, and his response stays with me to this day. He said that most of us were taught to believe in a hierarchical presentation of priorities in our life, in which things flow downward in a list: God, then family, then ministry, then other stuff in a diminishing proportion. But, a model of that sort just isn’t practical in real life. There will always be moments in which there is a crisis in one area that supersedes the needs of another area. So the idea of a perfect ranking of priorities will be disrupted by real life. His version was a wagon wheel, in which God is the hub. From Him, all the other priorities of life go outward like spokes, so that He is the source of wisdom and strength in every other area of my life.

The best book I read in 2020 was The Infinite Game. I wanted to review it here the *entire* time I was reading it, but I waited for two reasons: one, I listened to it on audio, and I wanted to re-read a few passages, thus waiting a while for the library digital edition, and two, I ordered it from Amazon in Spanish, so I could discuss it first with key friends here—it was THAT good. I extrapolated evangelistic applications on every page of tis secular business book, because there is no more “infinite game” than the Gospel.

A year after the Madrid lockdown, I realize I now own more masks than underwear. A humor comparison ensues…

I can remember exactly where I was when the American space shuttle Columbia exploded in January 1986. I remember perfectly what I was doing when someone told me about that first plane crash on September 11, and of course, I recall all the mourning and shock of watching the entire attack develop before our eyes on TV screens. On a personal level, I can remember phone calls informing me of deaths or dangerous situations for my immediate family members. I know the pain and shock of that one moment that changes everything.

But the Coronacrisis (and yes, I may have coined that word myself) didn’t have such a dramatic point in history, although I would argue that its effects have been much greater. Today is the one-year anniversary of our “state of alarm” which continues to this day in Spain. The world changed, not in a moment, but in a series of decisions.

Here in Europe, today is a big deal: it’s International Women’s Day. All day long I’ve thought about posting and then rejected the idea. You may wonder why I’d have any reservations about it.

This morning I was frustrated. To be totally transparent, I was praying at the time. I was frustrated that God didn’t seem to be moving fast enough in His answers. I found myself fussing at God about how long I was just sitting around waiting for Him to come through with some changes around here. I mean, I’m trying to serve HIM, I said. I’m available; I’m ready. I’m just waiting on Him, I reminded Him.

If you’ve ever wanted to have a literal “taste” of Spain - this one’s for YOU!

It’s been a while since I’ve done some updated book recommendations. I read a wide variety of books. I’m constantly reading, but I reserve my recommendations for what I truly believe is worth it.

Since I have friends of all backgrounds and interests, here are some of the best books I’ve read in the past few months in three categories: leadership, devotional, and secular fiction.

What makes these worth reading?

I began this series talking about exhaustion and the side effect of such weariness: wanting to get to the Presence of God when we feel so far away.

When getting there takes effort.

When the journey takes us through the desert places.

When the pace is all uphill.

Several years ago, I was joining a new ministry team, and we were talking about some of the particulars of that decision; we talked about the job description, future projects, and the timing of the transition. At the end of our discussion, I mentioned one other thing that I wanted to make clear: I stated very clearly, “I won’t hike.”

I knew they enjoyed hiking, because I’d seen photos of their team retreats in the mountains, and I *HATED* hiking. So I wanted to make sure they understood that doing long “team building” hikes into the summits of Spain wasn’t really something that I would enjoy. They promised never to make me hike, and they kept their word.

Flash forward six years, and how did I spend my last vacation in Spain? Umm, hiking all over southern Spain. So, what changed?

Psalm 84 describes the pilgrim making this way to Zion, to the Presence of God. But the Valley of Weeping is part of the journey.

To our modern ears, going through the valley of Weeping sounds like something we would all rather avoid. I sure would! And this Covid crisis is indeed a Valley of Weeping for many: we have lost loved ones in this crisis--family members, classmates, neighbors, and more. We have lost jobs, opportunities, security, and the comfort of our routine. We feel isolated and lonely.

Yesterday I wrote about the catalyst for this series: God meeting me in the depths of exhaustion with the phrase, “Blessed are those whose strength is in You.” From that one little snippet, I started studying Psalm 84. In the writer’s song, I identify: I’m longing to be in God’s presence. I need the peace and refuge of His temple courts.

The whole verse of Psalm 84:5 says, “Blessed are those whose strength in in You, *in whose hearts are the highways to Zion.” *

When we make any journey, we have a “here” and “there” in mind. From a starting point, we have a desired destination, and the map shows us the route or the process to get where we want to end up. Yesterday, I read that first part, “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,” and it helped to identify my current location: Exhaustion Desert. But I want to get to Strength Mountain. I want to arrive in the Presence of God where I have total peace and access to His unfailing strength. I want to get to Zion. How can I arrive there?

I’m 𝑒𝓍𝒽𝒶𝓊𝓈𝓉𝑒𝒹. I’ve been feeling it awhile, but today, I’m admitting it.

It’s not just Fridays. It’s not just cold, dreary days of January. It’s a deep exhaustion that comes from daily being surrounded by bad news and constant need. I’m depleted, devoid of the bank of energy that usually fuels me.

When I read this verse recently, “Blessed are those whose strength is in You,” it hit me square on.

There is a trend in today’s modern Church to “fast” things that aren’t food (social media, Netflix, coffee, novels, chocolate--lots of stuff).

Biblically, fasting was always about going without food. It is much harder, and we should understand that’s WHY it’s harder--because we’d all rather give up Netflix than actual food. This point is convicting for me, too! As I worked on this study, I realized I find it much easier to choose for myself what I’m *willing* to give up instead of doing it God’s way.

if Netflix or Facebook is “essential” to your life, to the point where you need to fast it, there’s a problem. If God reveals to you that entertainment or social media is getting in the way of your relationship with Him, then that is an IDOL. And you can’t fast an idol.

I just got back to Spain from my annual trip to the United States. One of the things I particularly love about the holidays is being able to eat all the goodies that come with Christmas, especially the Maryland things that I don’t get to eat here in Spain. Since I am from the coast, I got to eat a lot of seafood, and I enjoyed every bit of it!

But then I returned to Spain, where our church had a week of prayer and fasting. It coincided with a huge snowstorm (in a city where it doesn’t snow!) so fasting was a good option with all the empty grocery stores!

Many churches do a special emphasis on prayer and fasting in January, but why exactly? Where do we get this habit of doing prayer and fasting at the beginning of the year? What is the point of fasting, other than to lose weight after eating so much in the holiday season?

This week I traveled from Maryland to Madrid returning from my annual Christmas pilgrimage. And my trips back to Spain generally have one thing in common: too much luggage.

I typically spend the last two days of my trip trying to pack it all in and incessantly weighing the bags to make sure that I can get them on the plane without paying astronomical fees. And then, there’s the reshuffling from back to bag and inevitably all of the things that are really heavy end up in my carry-on. My wheelie bag carries all the books, a huge bag of brown sugar, my technological devices, and more. And when that gets overflowed, the backpack gets filled next. More books, more snacks, more technology.

But that means that for the next 16 hours I’m carrying that load on my literal back as well as pulling it behind me, straining my arm muscles in an effort to drag with me all the things that I believe to be “necessities.”

We're already on our third installment of the Spanish culture segment, working through the alphabet. This month we have C for Castillo (pronounced cas-ti-yo) which means "castle" in English.

Before I ever moved to Spain, I'd already heard of the castles in Spain, because when I lived in France, I learned the snarky expression, "building castles in Spain," as a way to describe dreams or plans that are unrealistic. That expression was coined in the 1300's, but over the past several hundred years, it devolved into our English version as, "building castles in the air." I'm not sure why building castles in Spain was ever seen as an unrealistic project, because there are literally castles EVERYWHERE in this country.

One of my favorite castles is nearby in Segovia (pictured at the top, above); its towers and turrets were part of the inspiration for Walt Disney, when he designed Cinderella's castle. But these turrets also have a distinct spiritual application!

We're a few months out from Christmas, but it won't be long before the decorations will come out. I'll decorate my apartment with some nativity sets collected from other countries, but although I've wanted to buy a Spanish one, I've had a hard time finding one. Here's why: Spanish nativity sets are passed on through families. Each year, the family adds a new element or two, until the nativity set is pretty detailed, containing more of a village than a set of one little family around a manger. In fact, Belén literally means, "Bethlehem" so perhaps that's part of why they set up an elaborate village scene, rather than just the usual few figurines. But the history and practice in Spain is pretty fascinating…

With September in full swing, I’m getting ready for AUTUMN! So what does that have to do with May?

Madrid’s Parque Retiro is one of its most beautiful features, but the art installation currently housed in the Palacio de Cristal is competing for attention, with it’s colorful canvas flowers and magical forest quality.

What do shoestrings, siestas, and Spain have in common? Find out here!

As I shared photos of my travel experiences a few people commented, WHERE IS THAT? I’m hoping that perhaps you would also like to see some of these great locations. If so, here are my airbnb links and experiences as I traveled through Andalucía over the past few weeks.

On my Andalucian adventure, I desperately wanted mollete with tomato, my favorite breakfast. But finding it was harder than I expected it to be!